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I feel it pulling me down; no matter how hard I fight it I cannot prevail.
It pulls me down, into the darkness, the unknown, the path that’s unknown to everyone; a path so unexplored and unused.
The world stops and transforms into something totally unexpected.
My eyes grow weary and I can’t keep them open; my vision blurs and the world around me becomes more vibrant and more fictional.
As night turns into dawn I exit the unknown and unexplored path back into reality.
But in only a few short hours I will be back.

The Message

I slowly whistled in astonishment.
“What is it?” Keith asked.
He stood hovering over my left shoulder with his boll of lasagna.
“This thumb drive is practically empty….. there’s only one thing on here and it’s not even taking up a hole gigabyte.”
“So what is on here?”
“Hold on, let me just open up the file….. and here we are!”
“Its… it’s a note from Frank….. how’s that possible?...”
I started to read what it said aloud, “‘ Ezio, by the time you read this I will be long gone out of town, I know you and Kate went to the police, but they won’t find me. One thing I learned from being a foster child is to hide, and so I shall, and you’ll only find me when I’m ready to be found…. But be ware, I may come for your family, or friends first! And say hello to Keith for me when you see him. And don’t even think of taking this to the police, within five minutes of being read this message will automatically delete itself. And remember, watch your back.’”
“Man… he really is a psychopath….” Keith said as he took the last bite of his lasagna.
“Ezio? Are you home?”
“Yes aunt Clare! We’re up here!” I said as I stood up and walked over to my bedroom door.
“I’m sorry Ezio…. I wanted to come get you from the police station but I just wasn’t able to.”
I hugged her. There was the familiar smell of the hospital.
“It sure has been a whopper of a day…. What with you mom and all.” Aunt Clare said.
“What happened to Ezio’s mom?” Keith asked.
“Keith, didn’t know you were coming over.”
“Yeah well my parents were fighting so yeah.” Keith shrugged.
“So what happened with Ms. Sophie?”
I sighed. “The soldiers came today, they said she was MIA…..”
“I’m sorry bro…. I know it’s tuff… but hang on, everything will work out for those who trust in God.”
I now hugged Keith, “Thanks bro, your a good friend.”
“Haha, thanks, I try to be.”
“So have you boys eaten supper yet?” Aunt Clare asked.
Keith showed her his boll, “I have.”
“Have you Ezio?”
“Um…. No, I’m not really hungry.”
“You should eat something anyway, even if it is only a banana.”
“Yes ma’am.”
Aunt Clare started to leave when she stopped, “Oh, and Ezio, make sure not to get your cut infected.” She pointed to my bandaged arm.
“Yes ma’am, I’ll make sure to keep it clean….”
She smiled and walked to her room where she would probably change out of her scrubs.
I always wondered if she knew about my cutting… but she never confronted me about it, though, for some strange reason I actually wanted her to catch me doing it so she would make me stop….. I felt like I couldn’t stop…. I prayed about it all the time, but yet I felt as if Jesus didn’t hear or listen to me anymore….. I felt… lost, and so far away from God, but I knew He was there, and He was, and what happened with Kate was proof of that…. But yet I doubted……

The next 2 weeks were a blur, especially with school.
And after what happened with Kate the principal said she didn’t have to come in to school rite away, and she wouldn’t be expelled.
And it was definitely a good thing she didn’t come back right away….
“Hey Ezio! It’s a good thing your girlfriend didn’t come back! Especially since she went lying to the cops about Frank! Stupid Ka-.”
I quickly shoved Marry up against the lockers slamming one of the doors shut in the process.
“It was your boyfriend Frank who did it! I saw him and his pagliacci asulte Kate! Now leave her alone you pagliacci!”
Keith quickly stepped in and pulled me away from her.
“Ezio, calm down bruh!”
I glared at Keith. “Calm? I am calm, and I can handle someone making fun of me! But when it comes to my family and friends I will not stand it!”
Keith patted my shoulder. “I know, you’ve always stuck up for me when I couldn’t, but don’t go making enemies, just let her be! It’ll pass. Come on, let’s get out of here, school sucks…..” Keith started to pull me away.
“And what did you call her anyway?”
I smiled, “I called her a clown.”
Keith started laughing.
We both laughed as we left the school.

51. Troubling Thoughts

We sat in the police station waiting for Kate’s parents to arrive and my aunt to come.
“So how are you feeling?” I asked Kate as I leaned forward on the bench we were on.
“OK I think…. That was the scariest moment in my life, but yet… it was… amazing….. especially since Jesus protected me. I still can’t believe it.”
I nodded. “Davvero,” (indeed), “it is quit amazing.”
“Kate!.”
Kate’s mother ran up to her daughter and gave her a great big hug.
“Are alright? They didn’t hurt you did they?.”
“No mom, they didn’t even have a chance, Jesus protected me, there leader Frank couldn’t even get my belt off, but mother look! I’m not even wearing a belt!”
Mrs. Harding’s eyes got big.
“What!? How can that be?”
“It’s true ma’am,” I said, “Jesus protected her with a belt that doesn’t exist, it was quit amazing.”
There was a moment of silence.
“It’s a miracle…..” Mrs. Harding said quietly.
“Davvero.”
“What?”
“Oh, sorry, it means indeed.”
“Ah, okay. Just give me a minute to talk to the officer and then I’ll take you home,” Mrs. Harding said to Kate.
“Wait? Where’s dad?” Kate asked.
“He’s at work, I tried to call him twice but he didn’t answer, he’s probably to busy to pick up.”
“Oh, I see.”
Mrs. Harding quickly gave Kate another hug then walked off to talk to the officer.
Kate seemed worried.
“What’s wrong?” I asked as I sat back down.
Kate did the same.
“Oh nothing….”
“Kate? Don’t lie to me now!”
She smiled. “Don’t worry about it, it’s nothing.”
I poked her in the side. “Tell me, what’s wrong?”
“Well….”
“Yes?”
“It’s just that Frank threatened you, and me…. What if the police don’t catch him? What if he goes after my dad or something?”
I sighed. “Oh Kate….. just have trust and faith in God, everything will be fine….. besides, he’s just a stupid football player, what really can he do?”
“Kate! Ezio! Can you two come here please?”
Mrs. Harding stood in the doorway of the officers office.
We both walked over to her.
“Yes? What is it?”
“You said the main suspect is Frank Spooner correct?”
“Yes officer, what is going on?” I asked, noting the pale look on Mrs. Harding’s face.
“Frank Spooner is a false name, his real name is  Jack Franklin Mandryk, the illegitimate child of Rodney Mandryk, a psychopath murderer who killed over a 100 people in 1994.
“He was caught in ’96 and was found guilty of man slaughter, and was sentenced to death.
“But 17 months before we caught him he got a girl pregnant, she died in childbirth and so Jack was put in foster care, where he stayed until he turned 18 last year.”
No one said anything for an entire minute.
“So,” Kate broke the silence first, “What your saying is he might be a psychopath like his father?”
The officer sighed. “Yes, it is a big possibility that he is a psychopath…… and he threatened both of you, and we should definitely take his threats seriously.”
“Is there anything we can do to avoid him following through on his threats?” Mrs. Harding asked.
“No, I’m afraid not. But do report any suspicious behavior, and you should probably have your daughter take some self defense classes. And here’s my card incase you ever need anything.” He shook all of our hands before walking us out.
“Ezio, is your aunt coming to pick you up? Or do you need a ride?” Mrs. Harding asked.
“She was in the middle of some surgery so yes, a ride would be much appreciated.”

When we got to my house I quickly said goodbye and started to unlock the front door.
“Ezio? Where have you been?”
I jumped.
“Keith! I nearly punched you!”
Keith stood behind me.
“Nah, you’d never do that to me would you?”
I chuckled. “Yeah, your right. Come on in, what are you doing here anyway?” I asked as I opened the door. We both walked inside.
“Well my parents are fighting again soo?....”
I took the hint. “Yes, you can stay the night.”
“Yes! So what you have to eat?” Keith asked as he walked into the kitchen.
“I think there’s some left over lasagna from last night. Help yourself I gotta let Blaireau in.”
I quickly unlocked the back door and let my great Pyrenees inside.
He was a good dog, he was a present to me on my 13th birthday, and now 4 years later he was in his prime and he was a huge dog, and I loved him so much.
He wagged his tail as he walked in.
“How’s my pup? Come on! Come on!”
I gestured for him to get up on his hind legs and give me a hug. He quickly did so.
“Good boy Blaireau!”
I quickly turned my attention back to Keith.
“Want some soda with that? I think we have a can or two of Dr.Pepper in the fridge somewhere,” I asked as I opened the fridge and started looking for the elusive cans of soda.
“Sure, why not.
“Oh, and someone told me to give you this.” Keith pulled out a thumb drive from his pocket.
I handed him his Dr.Pepper.
“Hm…. Only 4 gigabytes….. who told you to give this to me?”
“I don’t know,” Keith said in between mouthfuls of lasagna, “But I didn’t ask cause he gave me this to do it.” Out of another pocket he pulled out a roll of 50s.
“Whoa! How much is that?”
“500 dollars, he just handed me the thumb drive and this money then walked away. All I know.”
“Did you check it? Is it real?”
“Yes, I’m sure of it.”
“That is strange…. It wasn’t Frank was it?”
“Frank Spooner? No…. Why would it be him?”
“Because he tried to rape Kate…. But he was very unsuccessful.”
“What? Is she alright?”
“Yeah, she’s just fine. Jesus protected her! It was amazing! He couldn’t get her belt off! But get this! She wasn’t wearing a belt.”
“What? How’s that… possible…..”
I could tell Keith had just figured it out.
“Wow.... that’s amazing.”
“Indeed it is.”
“Ah, so is that what happened to your arm and why you have a bandage on it?”
I looked at my arm, the bandage was covering both cuts.
“Uh yeah kind of. Anyway, let’s see what’s on this thumb drive!”

Damaged part 1

I slowly slid the cold blade across my skin. Somehow it relieved me from my stress and anxiety.
I heard someone walk in the front door and sit down on the other side of the wall.
“Kate.”
“Ezio.”
I quickly wrapped my towel around my arm and sat my knife down beside me.
“What are you doing here?,” I asked stretching out the question longer then it should be.
She sighed. “Ms. Clare told me what happened.”
Now it was my turn to sigh. “The soldiers came today around 11:30, ‘Ms. Clare? I am sorry to say but your sister Sophie Ilawn Antúnez went missing two weeks ago.’”
“I – I’m sorry Ezio….. I know it’s hard but I’m sure they’ll find her.”
I stood up and looked at her through the hole in the wall. “Kate! I lost my father the same way! I was 5 years old when he too went MIA, and now 12 years later my mother is MIA as well!.”
She stood up as well. She eyed my wrapped up arm. “Ezio Antúnez!! I thought you had stopped that crap!.” She quickly walked over to the nearest hole that she could fit in and squeezed through.
“I know bu-.”
She slapped me before I could finish.
“Ouch! That hurt!.”
“Yes well it hurts me to see you go back to your old habits!.” She cooled down a bit then looked at my new cut.
“Well…. It’s not deep, at least you didn’t cut yourself that bad.” She sighed.
“I couldn’t help it…. I just didn’t know how to relieve the anxiety and stress… and pain.” I slumped down back onto my spot on the floor.
“You could’ve taken an ax to a log, you could’ve gone to the gym and lifted some weights, you could’ve punched a hallow wall! Just don’t cut yourself!.” She sat down in front of me.
I half smiled. “Yes, I could’ve done one of those things….”
“Listen, I can’t stay long, I got a date with Fran-.”
“Frank Spooner!? The football player? That guys name alone sounds so crazy!.”
She punched my shoulder. “Forget Frank, you go home, invite one of your friends over and do something, but don’t stay here alone! Or I’ll slap you even harder next time I see you!.”
“Okay okay, I’ll go home! Just don’t stay out to late with serial killer Frank Spooner!.”
She punched me again and then winked at me and left.
I quickly picked up my knife and started walking home. I really didn’t want to be alone, and I knew Aunt Clare was feeling pretty down too, and maybe I could invite Keith over and we could play a video game so I could get my mind off of everything.
As I walked I began to pray, “Jesus, please forgive me for cutting myself… I didn’t know how to cope with the pain and stress and I let myself fall back into that old habit, please forgive me Savior, and please, protect my mother and comfort us… comfort me. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
I turned down the street of my house when I heard someone behind me. I quickly turned around.
“Jeffrey? What on earth are you doing here!?.”
Jeffrey was one of the smallest football players but he was still very good at it, and he was also known for his lack of self control…. especially around the girls.
“I-uh…” I quickly pushed him up against one of the trees.
“ You were following Kate weren't you?!.”
Even though he was a football player I was still a better boxer, I was in fact the schools second best. And I also knew self defense.
“Uh…”
“Why were you following her!?.” I reached in his pocket and took out his phone and read the last txt message sent, ‘she’s on her way and she’s alone, have the boys ready.’ I couldn’t believe what I was reading.
I quickly turned around and put my hands on his shoulders, “What is Frank and his boys planning!? Tell me!.” I started to shake him.
“There planning to ra-ra……”
I felt a surge of anger and I quickly punched him in the face knocking him out instantly.
“Jesus please don’t let this happen to her!."

Damaged part 2

I quickly grabbed Jeff by his shirt and picked him up.
“Wake up! Come on!.” I shook Jeff vigorously but to no avail. “I guess I hit you too hard.” I carelessly let go of him and let him fall to the ground.
I started pacing. “Where was she going? Where is Frank planning on…?” I couldn’t even bare to think the word.
“Please Jesus tell me where to go!.” I dropped Jeff’s phone and took off towards the old abandoned house where Kate and I were just a little while earlier.
“She said she was going on a date?..... it’s only-,” I looked at my watch, “ 4:17, it’s not very dark…..” I stopped at the front door. “Stupid me!.” I quickly pulled my phone out and started calling Kate.
“Pick up! Please Jesus let her pick up!.
“No!.” No answer. “Where would she go!.”
“She went towards Liberty street…. Aha! Of course! Frank lives near Liberty street! Stupid me!.” I quickly started running in the direction I assumed her to be.
It was now 4:34 and I was just now getting to the street.
I slowed down and quietly started walking down the street. It was extremely dark, especially down one of the alleys I passed.
“Jesus, be with her please if I can’t find her!” I quietly whispered.
Suddenly I heard a loud high pitched scream come from one of the near by alleys.
I slowly pulled my knife out of its sheath and started walking towards the alley.
“Shut her up before someone hears her!,” I could hear Frank say.
There was 4 of them, two of them were watching and one of them was holding her mouth shut while Frank started to try and get her pants off.
I stayed in the shadows and started making my way towards the group.
“Come on idiot! You can’t even get her belt undone!,” the one holding Kate’s mouth shut said.
“Shut up! I got this!.”
“Sure you do!” I thought.
I slowly snuck up to the ones watching.
I felt like slitting his throat but I knew that wouldn’t be right with God, that and I knew I’d regret it.
Without anymore thought on the subject I quickly turned one of them around and kneed him in the stomach and punched him in the face making him fall backwards.
“Ezio!”
The other three turned there dark gazes on me.
“Kill him!” Frank yelled as he stood up and pulled out a butterfly knife.
The other 2 followed suit.
I switched my knife from my left hand to my right.
They all quickly rushed towards me.
It was all a blur of blades. One came for my stomach, one came for my legs and another came for my throat. I dodged the one coming for my stomach, I deflected the one coming for my legs and I grabbed the arm wielding the one aimed for my throat. Without much thought I sliced him from his lower left side up towards his right shoulder.
He yelled out in pain.
“Fools! Kill him!.” He stepped back so the other two could try and get me. One of them sliced my arm but it wasn’t very deep. I quickly ripped the knife out of his hand and threw it on the ground.
With obvious defeat the third guy helped the one who I knocked out first and ran off, quickly followed by the 2nd guy.
“Fools! Come back!.”
“Frank, you’d better get that cut seen, it looks pretty deep, and my knife isn’t really sanitary. And you better not get to settled, the police will be coming to visit you very soon.”
He growled. “This isn’t the end Ezio Antúnez! I swear I’ll see you again! And next time only one of us will live to see the light of day again!.”
“What? Your going to go live in a cave or something?.”
He said nothing more as he left but before he was totally gone he said, “And you’d better keep a close eye on your friend there, I just might come for her again!.” And then he was gone.
I knelt down by Kate. “Hey, are you alright? Can you stand?.”
“I think so.”
I quickly helped her up. “I’m sorry, I should’ve been here sooner.”
She hugged me and started sobbing.
“It’s okay, I’m here now, and Jesus protected you, that guy couldn’t even get your belt off.”
She looked at me. “But Ezio, I’m not even wearing a belt.”
I stared at her dumbfounded. “But, I heard them, he couldn’t get your belt off!.” I stood back. Sure enough, no belt.
“It-it must’ve been Jesus, protecting me.”
“Yes…. It must’ve been….”

94. Reality

“Reality….. oh such a scary word”, I thought to myself as I closed my bedroom door behind me. I carelessly threw my phone on my bed. I slumped down in my desk chair, letting my tears roll down my cheeks. “I did it again I did! Why did I do that to myself! Every time I try to talk to her about God she just starts cussing at me!”.
I had tried for years to get through to my girlfriend….. I loved her, honestly I did, and I think she loved me, and we had been dating for almost 2 years and I really wanted to marry her, but when I was younger I had made a vow to God that I’d never marry someone outside of my religion….. but she just refused to listen to me talk about God.
“why God? Why can’t I get through to her!? I love her! And I want to marry her! But I can’t if she doesn’t honestly believe in You….. I guess in reality I should just break up with her and move on.
“But why? Why can’t I get through to her! Jesus help her please to see the truth!....”
That night I fell asleep weeping for my loves salvation, I prayed so hard that she would change, but I was afraid that it just wasn’t meant to be…
1 week later.
“Hey hony, watcha doin?”. I smiled at my girlfriend.
“Just reading, I’m surprised you actually came, I thought you were mad at me?”. I quickly closed my book and quickly took a sip of my Starbucks coffe. The café was fairly empty, making it so I could get my favorite table by the window.
“Well you said it was important, so here I am”. She sat down in the chair across from me. “It is. You see, we’ve been dating for like 2 years now, and, I love you, I truly do, and I want to marry you b-“. “Yes! Oh yes! I want to marry you too!”. She said smiling. I smiled, “let me finish please”. She nodded. “But when I was younger I made a vow to God that I’d never marry someone outside of my religion, so if you don’t truly love God and want to know Him better then I cannot marry you”. At this point her smile had vanished and she seemed to be ready to cry.
“So in reality if you don’t want Him then you don’t want me….. I would be a terrible husband if you didn’t love Him, I would always try to teach you of Him, and I know you hate that…… please, don’t be mad……” Somehow she managed to smile, “I guess your rite, you wouldn’t be a good husband, you idiota!”. She stormed out in a rage. That was the worst…. She always cursed at me in her native language….. Italian.
I slowly walked back to my apartment, I felt as if I had made a massive mistake. “Lord? Did I do the correct thing? Was I rite in breaking up with her? Lord, I- I love her….. so much…….” As I turned the corner at the top of the steps at my apartment building I saw her sitting in front of my door, not crying, but she wasn’t really smiling either.
She stood up when she saw me. “I – I’m sorry, I always shut you out when you started talking about God, and, I do love you, and if He’s your God, then He’s my God too”. My face lit up with a massive smile. I quickly embraced her. “You know what?”. “What?”. “I love you, and, actually, realty isn’t so bad after all”.

18. Love

Love; it's one of the most beautiful words.... but how do we love someone? "We love because He first loved us". God's love for us was so great that He gave His only Son to die on a cross for us. "Greater love has no one this, than to lay down his life for his friends". It is impossible to love someone without God, and if we truly love God then we love all of His creatures, and that, that is true love.