Monday, January 16, 2017

My Tree

Away up high in a tree
Is where you'll find me
High above the ground
Touching the sky like a bird
One with the tree
I'll sway ever so slightly in the wind
It feels like flying up there
And if by chance I lose my grip
Do not fret
For I know the big branches
Of my tree will catch me.

Friday, January 6, 2017

Anger Issues

I quickly swing my metal bat into the right side of the toilet tank and watch as the pieces all fly into the bathtub. It’s a nice sound, listening to the tank shatter. I quickly raise the bat and with every bit of strength I can summon I smash it into the boll. The water from the tank and now boll has soaked the floor and surrounding areas. I watch as the water still continues to run. Not feeling satisfied with that I move on to the sink. The sink was one of those fancy ones that didn’t have any drawers and was only held up by a center pillar. I quickly swing the bat into the pillar and jump back as the sink falls to the floor after losing its support. It cracked but didn’t fully break so I smash my bat into it. It’s beautiful to see the water spewing out of the wall onto the tiled floor. I slowly walk out to the dining room where the glass table was. I knew this would be fun. I quickly yank off the thin fabric table cloth and then with my gloved fist I smash it in. It shatters to the ground in a million pieces. Still not feeling satisfied I walk over to a blank wall and start hitting it with my bat. Hit after hit until I’ve basically left no square inch of untouched dry wall. I step back and admire my work.
I laugh as a few pieces fall to the ground.

Yup. I’m good now.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

64. Frost

It's so cold
here on the floor,
Where my feet freeze
and the ice grows,
My heart
beats but my
blood is frozen,
I try to speak
but my words are ice,
I try to cry
but my tears are frozen,
I want to scream
but its so cold.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016


I feel it pulling me down; no matter how hard I fight it I cannot prevail.
It pulls me down, into the darkness, the unknown, the path that’s unknown to everyone; a path so unexplored and unused.
The world stops and transforms into something totally unexpected.
My eyes grow weary and I can’t keep them open; my vision blurs and the world around me becomes more vibrant and more fictional.
As night turns into dawn I exit the unknown and unexplored path back into reality.
But in only a few short hours I will be back.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

The Message

I slowly whistled in astonishment.
“What is it?” Keith asked.
He stood hovering over my left shoulder with his boll of lasagna.
“This thumb drive is practically empty….. there’s only one thing on here and it’s not even taking up a hole gigabyte.”
“So what is on here?”
“Hold on, let me just open up the file….. and here we are!”
“Its… it’s a note from Frank….. how’s that possible?...”
I started to read what it said aloud, “‘ Ezio, by the time you read this I will be long gone out of town, I know you and Kate went to the police, but they won’t find me. One thing I learned from being a foster child is to hide, and so I shall, and you’ll only find me when I’m ready to be found…. But be ware, I may come for your family, or friends first! And say hello to Keith for me when you see him. And don’t even think of taking this to the police, within five minutes of being read this message will automatically delete itself. And remember, watch your back.’”
“Man… he really is a psychopath….” Keith said as he took the last bite of his lasagna.
“Ezio? Are you home?”
“Yes aunt Clare! We’re up here!” I said as I stood up and walked over to my bedroom door.
“I’m sorry Ezio…. I wanted to come get you from the police station but I just wasn’t able to.”
I hugged her. There was the familiar smell of the hospital.
“It sure has been a whopper of a day…. What with you mom and all.” Aunt Clare said.
“What happened to Ezio’s mom?” Keith asked.
“Keith, didn’t know you were coming over.”
“Yeah well my parents were fighting so yeah.” Keith shrugged.
“So what happened with Ms. Sophie?”
I sighed. “The soldiers came today, they said she was MIA…..”
“I’m sorry bro…. I know it’s tuff… but hang on, everything will work out for those who trust in God.”
I now hugged Keith, “Thanks bro, your a good friend.”
“Haha, thanks, I try to be.”
“So have you boys eaten supper yet?” Aunt Clare asked.
Keith showed her his boll, “I have.”
“Have you Ezio?”
“Um…. No, I’m not really hungry.”
“You should eat something anyway, even if it is only a banana.”
“Yes ma’am.”
Aunt Clare started to leave when she stopped, “Oh, and Ezio, make sure not to get your cut infected.” She pointed to my bandaged arm.
“Yes ma’am, I’ll make sure to keep it clean….”
She smiled and walked to her room where she would probably change out of her scrubs.
I always wondered if she knew about my cutting… but she never confronted me about it, though, for some strange reason I actually wanted her to catch me doing it so she would make me stop….. I felt like I couldn’t stop…. I prayed about it all the time, but yet I felt as if Jesus didn’t hear or listen to me anymore….. I felt… lost, and so far away from God, but I knew He was there, and He was, and what happened with Kate was proof of that…. But yet I doubted……

The next 2 weeks were a blur, especially with school.
And after what happened with Kate the principal said she didn’t have to come in to school rite away, and she wouldn’t be expelled.
And it was definitely a good thing she didn’t come back right away….
“Hey Ezio! It’s a good thing your girlfriend didn’t come back! Especially since she went lying to the cops about Frank! Stupid Ka-.”
I quickly shoved Marry up against the lockers slamming one of the doors shut in the process.
“It was your boyfriend Frank who did it! I saw him and his pagliacci asulte Kate! Now leave her alone you pagliacci!”
Keith quickly stepped in and pulled me away from her.
“Ezio, calm down bruh!”
I glared at Keith. “Calm? I am calm, and I can handle someone making fun of me! But when it comes to my family and friends I will not stand it!”
Keith patted my shoulder. “I know, you’ve always stuck up for me when I couldn’t, but don’t go making enemies, just let her be! It’ll pass. Come on, let’s get out of here, school sucks…..” Keith started to pull me away.
“And what did you call her anyway?”
I smiled, “I called her a clown.”
Keith started laughing.
We both laughed as we left the school.

Thursday, January 7, 2016

51. Troubling Thoughts

We sat in the police station waiting for Kate’s parents to arrive and my aunt to come.
“So how are you feeling?” I asked Kate as I leaned forward on the bench we were on.
“OK I think…. That was the scariest moment in my life, but yet… it was… amazing….. especially since Jesus protected me. I still can’t believe it.”
I nodded. “Davvero,” (indeed), “it is quit amazing.”
Kate’s mother ran up to her daughter and gave her a great big hug.
“Are alright? They didn’t hurt you did they?.”
“No mom, they didn’t even have a chance, Jesus protected me, there leader Frank couldn’t even get my belt off, but mother look! I’m not even wearing a belt!”
Mrs. Harding’s eyes got big.
“What!? How can that be?”
“It’s true ma’am,” I said, “Jesus protected her with a belt that doesn’t exist, it was quit amazing.”
There was a moment of silence.
“It’s a miracle…..” Mrs. Harding said quietly.
“Oh, sorry, it means indeed.”
“Ah, okay. Just give me a minute to talk to the officer and then I’ll take you home,” Mrs. Harding said to Kate.
“Wait? Where’s dad?” Kate asked.
“He’s at work, I tried to call him twice but he didn’t answer, he’s probably to busy to pick up.”
“Oh, I see.”
Mrs. Harding quickly gave Kate another hug then walked off to talk to the officer.
Kate seemed worried.
“What’s wrong?” I asked as I sat back down.
Kate did the same.
“Oh nothing….”
“Kate? Don’t lie to me now!”
She smiled. “Don’t worry about it, it’s nothing.”
I poked her in the side. “Tell me, what’s wrong?”
“It’s just that Frank threatened you, and me…. What if the police don’t catch him? What if he goes after my dad or something?”
I sighed. “Oh Kate….. just have trust and faith in God, everything will be fine….. besides, he’s just a stupid football player, what really can he do?”
“Kate! Ezio! Can you two come here please?”
Mrs. Harding stood in the doorway of the officers office.
We both walked over to her.
“Yes? What is it?”
“You said the main suspect is Frank Spooner correct?”
“Yes officer, what is going on?” I asked, noting the pale look on Mrs. Harding’s face.
“Frank Spooner is a false name, his real name is  Jack Franklin Mandryk, the illegitimate child of Rodney Mandryk, a psychopath murderer who killed over a 100 people in 1994.
“He was caught in ’96 and was found guilty of man slaughter, and was sentenced to death.
“But 17 months before we caught him he got a girl pregnant, she died in childbirth and so Jack was put in foster care, where he stayed until he turned 18 last year.”
No one said anything for an entire minute.
“So,” Kate broke the silence first, “What your saying is he might be a psychopath like his father?”
The officer sighed. “Yes, it is a big possibility that he is a psychopath…… and he threatened both of you, and we should definitely take his threats seriously.”
“Is there anything we can do to avoid him following through on his threats?” Mrs. Harding asked.
“No, I’m afraid not. But do report any suspicious behavior, and you should probably have your daughter take some self defense classes. And here’s my card incase you ever need anything.” He shook all of our hands before walking us out.
“Ezio, is your aunt coming to pick you up? Or do you need a ride?” Mrs. Harding asked.
“She was in the middle of some surgery so yes, a ride would be much appreciated.”

When we got to my house I quickly said goodbye and started to unlock the front door.
“Ezio? Where have you been?”
I jumped.
“Keith! I nearly punched you!”
Keith stood behind me.
“Nah, you’d never do that to me would you?”
I chuckled. “Yeah, your right. Come on in, what are you doing here anyway?” I asked as I opened the door. We both walked inside.
“Well my parents are fighting again soo?....”
I took the hint. “Yes, you can stay the night.”
“Yes! So what you have to eat?” Keith asked as he walked into the kitchen.
“I think there’s some left over lasagna from last night. Help yourself I gotta let Blaireau in.”
I quickly unlocked the back door and let my great Pyrenees inside.
He was a good dog, he was a present to me on my 13th birthday, and now 4 years later he was in his prime and he was a huge dog, and I loved him so much.
He wagged his tail as he walked in.
“How’s my pup? Come on! Come on!”
I gestured for him to get up on his hind legs and give me a hug. He quickly did so.
“Good boy Blaireau!”
I quickly turned my attention back to Keith.
“Want some soda with that? I think we have a can or two of Dr.Pepper in the fridge somewhere,” I asked as I opened the fridge and started looking for the elusive cans of soda.
“Sure, why not.
“Oh, and someone told me to give you this.” Keith pulled out a thumb drive from his pocket.
I handed him his Dr.Pepper.
“Hm…. Only 4 gigabytes….. who told you to give this to me?”
“I don’t know,” Keith said in between mouthfuls of lasagna, “But I didn’t ask cause he gave me this to do it.” Out of another pocket he pulled out a roll of 50s.
“Whoa! How much is that?”
“500 dollars, he just handed me the thumb drive and this money then walked away. All I know.”
“Did you check it? Is it real?”
“Yes, I’m sure of it.”
“That is strange…. It wasn’t Frank was it?”
“Frank Spooner? No…. Why would it be him?”
“Because he tried to rape Kate…. But he was very unsuccessful.”
“What? Is she alright?”
“Yeah, she’s just fine. Jesus protected her! It was amazing! He couldn’t get her belt off! But get this! She wasn’t wearing a belt.”
“What? How’s that… possible…..”
I could tell Keith had just figured it out.
“Wow.... that’s amazing.”
“Indeed it is.”
“Ah, so is that what happened to your arm and why you have a bandage on it?”
I looked at my arm, the bandage was covering both cuts.
“Uh yeah kind of. Anyway, let’s see what’s on this thumb drive!”

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Damaged part 1

I slowly slid the cold blade across my skin. Somehow it relieved me from my stress and anxiety.
I heard someone walk in the front door and sit down on the other side of the wall.
I quickly wrapped my towel around my arm and sat my knife down beside me.
“What are you doing here?,” I asked stretching out the question longer then it should be.
She sighed. “Ms. Clare told me what happened.”
Now it was my turn to sigh. “The soldiers came today around 11:30, ‘Ms. Clare? I am sorry to say but your sister Sophie Ilawn Antúnez went missing two weeks ago.’”
“I – I’m sorry Ezio….. I know it’s hard but I’m sure they’ll find her.”
I stood up and looked at her through the hole in the wall. “Kate! I lost my father the same way! I was 5 years old when he too went MIA, and now 12 years later my mother is MIA as well!.”
She stood up as well. She eyed my wrapped up arm. “Ezio Antúnez!! I thought you had stopped that crap!.” She quickly walked over to the nearest hole that she could fit in and squeezed through.
“I know bu-.”
She slapped me before I could finish.
“Ouch! That hurt!.”
“Yes well it hurts me to see you go back to your old habits!.” She cooled down a bit then looked at my new cut.
“Well…. It’s not deep, at least you didn’t cut yourself that bad.” She sighed.
“I couldn’t help it…. I just didn’t know how to relieve the anxiety and stress… and pain.” I slumped down back onto my spot on the floor.
“You could’ve taken an ax to a log, you could’ve gone to the gym and lifted some weights, you could’ve punched a hallow wall! Just don’t cut yourself!.” She sat down in front of me.
I half smiled. “Yes, I could’ve done one of those things….”
“Listen, I can’t stay long, I got a date with Fran-.”
“Frank Spooner!? The football player? That guys name alone sounds so crazy!.”
She punched my shoulder. “Forget Frank, you go home, invite one of your friends over and do something, but don’t stay here alone! Or I’ll slap you even harder next time I see you!.”
“Okay okay, I’ll go home! Just don’t stay out to late with serial killer Frank Spooner!.”
She punched me again and then winked at me and left.
I quickly picked up my knife and started walking home. I really didn’t want to be alone, and I knew Aunt Clare was feeling pretty down too, and maybe I could invite Keith over and we could play a video game so I could get my mind off of everything.
As I walked I began to pray, “Jesus, please forgive me for cutting myself… I didn’t know how to cope with the pain and stress and I let myself fall back into that old habit, please forgive me Savior, and please, protect my mother and comfort us… comfort me. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
I turned down the street of my house when I heard someone behind me. I quickly turned around.
“Jeffrey? What on earth are you doing here!?.”
Jeffrey was one of the smallest football players but he was still very good at it, and he was also known for his lack of self control…. especially around the girls.
“I-uh…” I quickly pushed him up against one of the trees.
“ You were following Kate weren't you?!.”
Even though he was a football player I was still a better boxer, I was in fact the schools second best. And I also knew self defense.
“Why were you following her!?.” I reached in his pocket and took out his phone and read the last txt message sent, ‘she’s on her way and she’s alone, have the boys ready.’ I couldn’t believe what I was reading.
I quickly turned around and put my hands on his shoulders, “What is Frank and his boys planning!? Tell me!.” I started to shake him.
“There planning to ra-ra……”
I felt a surge of anger and I quickly punched him in the face knocking him out instantly.
“Jesus please don’t let this happen to her!."