I slowly slid the cold blade across my skin. Somehow it relieved me from my stress and anxiety.
I heard someone walk in the front door and sit down on the other side of the wall.
I quickly wrapped my towel around my arm and sat my knife down beside me.
“What are you doing here?,” I asked stretching out the question longer then it should be.
She sighed. “Ms. Clare told me what happened.”
Now it was my turn to sigh. “The soldiers came today around 11:30, ‘Ms. Clare? I am sorry to say but your sister Sophie Ilawn Antúnez went missing two weeks ago.’”
“I – I’m sorry Ezio….. I know it’s hard but I’m sure they’ll find her.”
I stood up and looked at her through the hole in the wall. “Kate! I lost my father the same way! I was 5 years old when he too went MIA, and now 12 years later my mother is MIA as well!.”
She stood up as well. She eyed my wrapped up arm. “Ezio Antúnez!! I thought you had stopped that crap!.” She quickly walked over to the nearest hole that she could fit in and squeezed through.
“I know bu-.”
She slapped me before I could finish.
“Ouch! That hurt!.”
“Yes well it hurts me to see you go back to your old habits!.” She cooled down a bit then looked at my new cut.
“Well…. It’s not deep, at least you didn’t cut yourself that bad.” She sighed.
“I couldn’t help it…. I just didn’t know how to relieve the anxiety and stress… and pain.” I slumped down back onto my spot on the floor.
“You could’ve taken an ax to a log, you could’ve gone to the gym and lifted some weights, you could’ve punched a hallow wall! Just don’t cut yourself!.” She sat down in front of me.
I half smiled. “Yes, I could’ve done one of those things….”
“Listen, I can’t stay long, I got a date with Fran-.”
“Frank Spooner!? The football player? That guys name alone sounds so crazy!.”
She punched my shoulder. “Forget Frank, you go home, invite one of your friends over and do something, but don’t stay here alone! Or I’ll slap you even harder next time I see you!.”
“Okay okay, I’ll go home! Just don’t stay out to late with serial killer Frank Spooner!.”
She punched me again and then winked at me and left.
I quickly picked up my knife and started walking home. I really didn’t want to be alone, and I knew Aunt Clare was feeling pretty down too, and maybe I could invite Keith over and we could play a video game so I could get my mind off of everything.
As I walked I began to pray, “Jesus, please forgive me for cutting myself… I didn’t know how to cope with the pain and stress and I let myself fall back into that old habit, please forgive me Savior, and please, protect my mother and comfort us… comfort me. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
I turned down the street of my house when I heard someone behind me. I quickly turned around.
“Jeffrey? What on earth are you doing here!?.”
Jeffrey was one of the smallest football players but he was still very good at it, and he was also known for his lack of self control…. especially around the girls.
“I-uh…” I quickly pushed him up against one of the trees.
“ You were following Kate weren't you?!.”
Even though he was a football player I was still a better boxer, I was in fact the schools second best. And I also knew self defense.
“Why were you following her!?.” I reached in his pocket and took out his phone and read the last txt message sent, ‘she’s on her way and she’s alone, have the boys ready.’ I couldn’t believe what I was reading.
I quickly turned around and put my hands on his shoulders, “What is Frank and his boys planning!? Tell me!.” I started to shake him.
“There planning to ra-ra……”
I felt a surge of anger and I quickly punched him in the face knocking him out instantly.
“Jesus please don’t let this happen to her!."
Saturday, November 14, 2015
I slowly slid the cold blade across my skin. Somehow it relieved me from my stress and anxiety.
I quickly grabbed Jeff by his shirt and picked him up.
“Wake up! Come on!.” I shook Jeff vigorously but to no avail. “I guess I hit you too hard.” I carelessly let go of him and let him fall to the ground.
I started pacing. “Where was she going? Where is Frank planning on…?” I couldn’t even bare to think the word.
“Please Jesus tell me where to go!.” I dropped Jeff’s phone and took off towards the old abandoned house where Kate and I were just a little while earlier.
“She said she was going on a date?..... it’s only-,” I looked at my watch, “ 4:17, it’s not very dark…..” I stopped at the front door. “Stupid me!.” I quickly pulled my phone out and started calling Kate.
“Pick up! Please Jesus let her pick up!.
“No!.” No answer. “Where would she go!.”
“She went towards Liberty street…. Aha! Of course! Frank lives near Liberty street! Stupid me!.” I quickly started running in the direction I assumed her to be.
It was now 4:34 and I was just now getting to the street.
I slowed down and quietly started walking down the street. It was extremely dark, especially down one of the alleys I passed.
“Jesus, be with her please if I can’t find her!” I quietly whispered.
Suddenly I heard a loud high pitched scream come from one of the near by alleys.
I slowly pulled my knife out of its sheath and started walking towards the alley.
“Shut her up before someone hears her!,” I could hear Frank say.
There was 4 of them, two of them were watching and one of them was holding her mouth shut while Frank started to try and get her pants off.
I stayed in the shadows and started making my way towards the group.
“Come on idiot! You can’t even get her belt undone!,” the one holding Kate’s mouth shut said.
“Shut up! I got this!.”
“Sure you do!” I thought.
I slowly snuck up to the ones watching.
I felt like slitting his throat but I knew that wouldn’t be right with God, that and I knew I’d regret it.
Without anymore thought on the subject I quickly turned one of them around and kneed him in the stomach and punched him in the face making him fall backwards.
The other three turned there dark gazes on me.
“Kill him!” Frank yelled as he stood up and pulled out a butterfly knife.
The other 2 followed suit.
I switched my knife from my left hand to my right.
They all quickly rushed towards me.
It was all a blur of blades. One came for my stomach, one came for my legs and another came for my throat. I dodged the one coming for my stomach, I deflected the one coming for my legs and I grabbed the arm wielding the one aimed for my throat. Without much thought I sliced him from his lower left side up towards his right shoulder.
He yelled out in pain.
“Fools! Kill him!.” He stepped back so the other two could try and get me. One of them sliced my arm but it wasn’t very deep. I quickly ripped the knife out of his hand and threw it on the ground.
With obvious defeat the third guy helped the one who I knocked out first and ran off, quickly followed by the 2nd guy.
“Fools! Come back!.”
“Frank, you’d better get that cut seen, it looks pretty deep, and my knife isn’t really sanitary. And you better not get to settled, the police will be coming to visit you very soon.”
He growled. “This isn’t the end Ezio Antúnez! I swear I’ll see you again! And next time only one of us will live to see the light of day again!.”
“What? Your going to go live in a cave or something?.”
He said nothing more as he left but before he was totally gone he said, “And you’d better keep a close eye on your friend there, I just might come for her again!.” And then he was gone.
I knelt down by Kate. “Hey, are you alright? Can you stand?.”
“I think so.”
I quickly helped her up. “I’m sorry, I should’ve been here sooner.”
She hugged me and started sobbing.
“It’s okay, I’m here now, and Jesus protected you, that guy couldn’t even get your belt off.”
She looked at me. “But Ezio, I’m not even wearing a belt.”
I stared at her dumbfounded. “But, I heard them, he couldn’t get your belt off!.” I stood back. Sure enough, no belt.
“It-it must’ve been Jesus, protecting me.”
“Yes…. It must’ve been….”
Saturday, November 7, 2015
“Reality….. oh such a scary word”, I thought to myself as I closed my bedroom door behind me. I carelessly threw my phone on my bed. I slumped down in my desk chair, letting my tears roll down my cheeks. “I did it again I did! Why did I do that to myself! Every time I try to talk to her about God she just starts cussing at me!”.
I had tried for years to get through to my girlfriend….. I loved her, honestly I did, and I think she loved me, and we had been dating for almost 2 years and I really wanted to marry her, but when I was younger I had made a vow to God that I’d never marry someone outside of my religion….. but she just refused to listen to me talk about God.
“why God? Why can’t I get through to her!? I love her! And I want to marry her! But I can’t if she doesn’t honestly believe in You….. I guess in reality I should just break up with her and move on.
“But why? Why can’t I get through to her! Jesus help her please to see the truth!....”
That night I fell asleep weeping for my loves salvation, I prayed so hard that she would change, but I was afraid that it just wasn’t meant to be…
1 week later.
“Hey hony, watcha doin?”. I smiled at my girlfriend.
“Just reading, I’m surprised you actually came, I thought you were mad at me?”. I quickly closed my book and quickly took a sip of my Starbucks coffe. The café was fairly empty, making it so I could get my favorite table by the window.
“Well you said it was important, so here I am”. She sat down in the chair across from me. “It is. You see, we’ve been dating for like 2 years now, and, I love you, I truly do, and I want to marry you b-“. “Yes! Oh yes! I want to marry you too!”. She said smiling. I smiled, “let me finish please”. She nodded. “But when I was younger I made a vow to God that I’d never marry someone outside of my religion, so if you don’t truly love God and want to know Him better then I cannot marry you”. At this point her smile had vanished and she seemed to be ready to cry.
“So in reality if you don’t want Him then you don’t want me….. I would be a terrible husband if you didn’t love Him, I would always try to teach you of Him, and I know you hate that…… please, don’t be mad……” Somehow she managed to smile, “I guess your rite, you wouldn’t be a good husband, you idiota!”. She stormed out in a rage. That was the worst…. She always cursed at me in her native language….. Italian.
I slowly walked back to my apartment, I felt as if I had made a massive mistake. “Lord? Did I do the correct thing? Was I rite in breaking up with her? Lord, I- I love her….. so much…….” As I turned the corner at the top of the steps at my apartment building I saw her sitting in front of my door, not crying, but she wasn’t really smiling either.
She stood up when she saw me. “I – I’m sorry, I always shut you out when you started talking about God, and, I do love you, and if He’s your God, then He’s my God too”. My face lit up with a massive smile. I quickly embraced her. “You know what?”. “What?”. “I love you, and, actually, realty isn’t so bad after all”.
Saturday, October 10, 2015
Love; it's one of the most beautiful words.... but how do we love someone? "We love because He first loved us". God's love for us was so great that He gave His only Son to die on a cross for us. "Greater love has no one this, than to lay down his life for his friends". It is impossible to love someone without God, and if we truly love God then we love all of His creatures, and that, that is true love.
Friday, September 25, 2015
I have had a blessed life, and it's always been that way for me. I had two older siblings and a younger sibling, and, for the most part I got along with them. My mom and dad were happily married, they rarely ever fought, which made everything that much more peaceful. But as for my best friend Jason, life was tough. His mom died when he was 6 or 7, and his dad had trouble supporting them, he worked all the time and sent the kids to school, (Jason also had two older siblings and a younger one), but being Adventist in a public school wasn't easy for Jason, but we become friends and we were best friends for a good decade. But, after awhile they moved away and I rarely got to see him anymore. It made me sad but I quickly got over it. Not long after that I finally got myself a Playstation and some games and found myself lost in another world, a world filled with dragons and other fictitious creatures. Jason and I would talk on the phone for hours at a time, or, at least we used to, soon we only talked for maybe an hour before one of us would have to go, but we still considered each other as brothers. But, since my life was so easy going I at times found it hard to understand what he was going through. But one day it all changed.
"Mark! Someone is here to see you", I heard my mom yell from down stairs. "Coming, I just have to finish off this one last dragon,". I quickly finished him off and ran down stairs. There at the front door was Jason. "Jason! What are you doing here!?", I asked. I quickly gave him a hug. He smiled, let's go outside and talk for a bit and I'll tell ya". I wandered what could possibly be wrong, but came up with no feasible answer, so I quickly slipped on my boots and headed out. "So how have you been?", I asked cheerfully. He sighed. "Mark.... you know I've been sick lately?". "Yes? Didn't you go see a doctor or something a couple weeks ago?". "Yes, and, after a lot of checking he diagnosed me with acute lymphocytic leukemia, and he said that it's gone to far.... there's no cure......" "What are you saying?.... your going to have some surgeries or something?......." He put his hand on my shoulder. "He said I'm probably not gonna make it out of this year......
"I'm going to die......"
"No-no he's wrong.... your - your fine..... your gonna be fine...." Tears filled my eyes and blurred my vision. Jason hugged me and let me cry on his shoulder, I couldn't believe he was going to die.
Jason was staying with his sister in town, about 20 miles away, my mom agreed to let me go stay with them for a week or more. But I wasn't sure I could handle it, so I asked if it was alright if I stayed a couple nights at my house so I could pack up some stuff. That night I didn't sleep at all, and to try and get my mind off Jason I played more video games. "Die you stupid dragon!". I quickly switched from my sword to my bow and with one final shot I killed him. I looked over at the clock on my desk. It showed 5:23. Just above the clock was a picture of Jason and I. I realized that soon he would be gone and I would never see him again on this earth...
"Jesus, he's been through so much in his life... why are you making him suffer like this?.... please Savior don't let him die! People still need him....." I fell on my knees and started crying. After that night I went and spent the next 17 days with him, he's family all came to see him before he….died.... even one of his uncles he hadn't seen in 2 years came to see him, it all became a blur to me. I went home and stayed a week there, then when Jason got worse I went and stayed with him. His dad wasn't taking it as hard as his siblings.... his sister especially was distraught. A few days later Jason and I stayed up half a night talking. "You know Mark, I am at perfect peace with God and with my end, I have trust and faith that I will spend eternity with my Lord and Savior, and hey, at least I'm doing it the easy way, you're gonna have to live through the end of the world." "Why do you say that? I might day tomorrow for all we know". "Jason half smiled, but you won't. Well, I'm getting tired, how bout we get some sleep”. “okay, goodnight bro, sleep well”. “Night”, He smiled and lay down on his bed. I had trouble falling asleep that night, I had a bad feeling about tomorrow.
Surprisingly I was the first one up that morning. “Hey Jason, you wanna get something to eat?”. I walked over to his bed….. he lay there pale, and cold. The tears didn’t come right away, I stood there for a good 15 minutes before I fell down on my knees and stared crying….
His dad walked in the room. “Is he?....” his voice trailed off. “Yes, he’s sleeping in Jesus’ arms….”
That was the saddest most difficult day of my life, the day one of God’s amazing people died at only 17…
Monday, September 21, 2015
Public school..... I hated it.... or at least strongly disliked it. I had heard that public school was a "nice" place. But I found that to be a lie. I couldn't share my faith, which I had tried to do on 4 different occasions, and 2 of those times my teacher overheard me and sent me to the principles office. I had made a couple of friends, they weren't so bad, one was Baptist, the other a Lutheran. But they didn't really share there faith much, but they were nice. But little did I know I would soon be done with school for good.
I quickly grabbed my books out of my locker and started outside. "Hey, Joshua! Wait up!." I looked back to see a girl from my history class. Her name was Sandy. "Yes?." "Hey, I heard you talking to Daren yesterday about God and stuff? Do you truly believe in something that doesn't exist?." "Yes, I believe in God and He does exist." "You seem so sure, but don't Christians believe that the earth is only like a little over 6,000 years old?." "Yes, and in my denomination we also believe that God made the earth in 6 literal days and that Saturday is the true Sabbath." "Okay, but there is no God and the earth is millions of years old." "Well, I guess it is easier to believe that the earth was made by a "big bang" and we evolved from apes then to believe in a God who made this earth and everything in it," I said in a sarcastic way. She half smiled. "Well, maybe there is a God.... well, anyway, I must get going now, see you around I guess." "Wait, read this," I handed her a small king James bible, I always kept one with me in case I found someone in need. "Thanks." "Your welcome, see you later." I smiled and started walking home. I felt happy with myself, maybe public school wouldn't be so bad after all.
After a few minutes I soon realized I was being followed by 2 boys from school. I was only maybe 10 minutes from home. I felt scared especially since these were two of the best football players of the school. After a bit I no longer felt scared but annoyed. I quickly turned around and started to walk towards them. "Is there something I can help you with?" I asked. The taller of the two stepped forward. "I want to know what you were doing talking to my girl?". "Calm down bro, I am not trying to steal your girlfriend or anything, she just wanted to know about my religious beliefs." He grunted. "Liar now tell me the truth." "I am telling the truth, now just leave me alone." I turned to go but he grabbed my arm. "Your trying to steal my girlfriend aren't you!." "I said no! I'm not trying to do anything of the sort! Now leave my alone!." I tried to get free but suddenly he pulled out a knife and stabbed me in the stomach area. I looked down at my stomach, blood was pouring out. "You - you stabbed me? You stabbed me.....?" I fell on the ground. He seemed just as surprised as I was. "I'm - I'm sorry.... I'm sorry." He quickly ran off, but his friend didn't. He knelt down beside me. I started to cough up some blood. "I'm calling 911, just hang on." In one hand he had his phone, and with the other he tried to stop the bleeding. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. "Tell your friend that I forgive him, and tell my family not to press charges, I do forgive him." I coughed up more blood. "No, just hang on, you can tell them yourself!." "No friend, I wont be able to, I'm going to die." "But you cant! You still... you still need to talk to me about your faith." I squeezed his hand. "Do you believe in that Jesus Christ died for you?." Yes.” “Then tell Him your sorry for all the wrongdoings you have done and He will forgive you.” I could just barely here sirens in the distance. "There coming! Just hang on a little longer!." Tears rolled down his face. "And, tell my family, I love them." He slowly nodded. I saw the flashing lights, but I knew that I would be dead before they even stepped foot out of there ambulance. "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. Believe in Him friend, and I'll see you again." As I slowly closed my eyes I remembered that even on the cross Jesus forgave His murderers, and I was at perfect peace with God, and I knew that the next thought I'd have would be when Jesus calls me from the grave.
Sunday, September 20, 2015
As I stepped out the door I felt an amazing sensation come over me, the temperature was just perfect and the wind made it even better. Strangely enough I felt like I was by a small pond in autumn, I could see the crystal clear water and the beautiful trees changing from green to the amazing gold and orange colors of autumn. The grass was an amazing golden color, and the trees went on forever. I never felt such an amazing feeling like it, and, though it took me a minute to realize it, I could feel God’s presence right there with me. And such an amazing feeling it is…
Saturday, September 19, 2015
I had followed this man for five years and through 12 different countries and I still hadn't caught him. It was getting very agrivating, but I knew the man was getting tired of this game of 'cat and mouse' too, soon I would get my chance. And what a better place to get him then in New York City.
I parked my truck near the front door of the grocery store and I pulled out my 9 mil. and quickly put a clip in it then I slipped it into my holster under my jacket. My left thigh hurt but I ignored the pain and quickly stepped out. Shopping; the one thing my wife hated to do, weird isn't? I slowly walked into the store, not expecting to see him. He was tall, at least 6' 6"; his hair was Sandy blonde, his eyes didn't seem to fit with his hair, for they were dark brown, more like black. His arms were long and muscular; but he was slow, exempt behind the wheel of a car. "Get milk; get cereal; get out," I mumbled to myself. As soon as I walked in though I saw him, standing in line with a couple bottles of vodka in one hand and a couple 20s in the other. I slowly raised my hand towards my vest where my 9 mil. was. "Can I help you with anything sir", the cashier lady asked. He shot a quick glance at her,"no, sorry". He said as he put the vodka on the counter then left. He slowly walked past me. I suddenly felt the pain of my wife's death again. I felt short compared to him; I was only 5' 6", and my wife wasn't much shorter then I. Since her death I hadn't thought much about how I looked. I usually just wore a simple pair of jeans, a t shirt and my boots. My brown hair had started to get a bit of gray, and my brown eyes had grown tired of this life, but I still hadn't given up on finding this man.
I quickly followed him outside. I quickly looked around trying to see him, but he seemed to have vanished. "No!", I yelled at myself. "He can't be far". I slowly hobbled around the corner of the building and then I saw him swiftly walk down an alley. Mustering all the strength I could I quickly ran after him. He stood not far from me, maybe 10 yards.
"I give up, I'm not running anymore, just kill me now and get it over with". I slowly pulled out the 9 mil. and took the safety off. He spread his arms out and closed his eyes. I slowly raised the gun...
and put the safety on and pulled out the clip.
"What are you doing!? Just kill me!". He said as he fell on his knees.
I slowly put the gun on the ground. "I forgive you, I don't want to kill you. I forgive you". "You - you forgive me?... but I killed your wife, you have every right to kill me". "No. We were both Christians, but when you killed my wife I left the church, but after some time Jesus revived me, and showed me that forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts, it is truly amazing". He started crying. I quickly walked over to him and started to comfort him. "No, I deserve to die by your hands". "We all deserve death, we're all sinners, but we have Jesus Christ's forgiveness. He payed the price for us. He died so men like you and I can live forever with our King, the King of kings". "I'm - sorry I killed your wife, I didn't know you guys would get back home so early. I shouldn't have been there, and right now you should be with your wife, and you should have children, but I stole it all from you, and I am sorry. Please, help me to find Him". "Yes, I will help you".
Friday, September 18, 2015
Okay, so some of my writings are real events that happened to me or someone else I know, but this one is I guess mostly focused on me, and it's in 3rd person.
Daniel slowly walked outside to do the morning pet chores. His family had a small little farm, consisting of chickens, goats, cats a couple dogs, and rabbits… lots of rabbits. So many rabbits in fact that Daniel gave up on trying to keep count. He and his brother usually on a good day could get the chores done and the milking in about half an hour. But as they walked off the patio they noticed their dog Blaireau, (Who was a great Pyrenees) was not moving, lay still in front his dog house. Fear rushed over Daniel as he dropped the egg bucket and ran to the fence yelling “Blaireau!”. As he reached the dog’s side he soon realized his fears were true…. Blaireau was dead…
Thursday, September 17, 2015
3. Making History
12. Dead Wrong
13. Running Away
15. Seeking Solace
20. My Inspiration
21. Never Again
25. Breaking Away
26. Forever and a day
27. Lost and Found
33. Seeing Red
34. Shades of Grey
39. Out of Time
40. Knowing How
41. Fork in the road
43. Nature’s Fury
44. At Peace
45. Heart Song
48. Everyday Magic
51. Troubling Thoughts
52. Stirring of the Wind
54. Health and Healing
56. Everything For You
57. Slow Down
58. Heartfelt Apology
62. Irregular Orbit
63. Cold Embrace
65. A Moment in Time✔
66. Dangerous Territory
68. Unsettling Revelations
70. Bitter Silence
71. The True You
76. Summer Haze
78. Change in the Weather
80. Only Human
81. A Place to Belong
86. Picking up the Pieces
90. Nowhere and Nothing