19. Tears

I have had a blessed life, and it's always been that way for me. I had two older siblings and a younger sibling, and, for the most part I got along with them. My mom and dad were happily married, they rarely ever fought, which made everything that much more peaceful. But as for my best friend Jason, life was tough. His mom died when he was 6 or 7, and his dad had trouble supporting them, he worked all the time and sent the kids to school, (Jason also had two older siblings and a younger one), but being Adventist in a public school wasn't easy for Jason, but we become friends and we were best friends for a good decade. But, after awhile they moved away and I rarely got to see him anymore. It made me sad but I quickly got over it. Not long after that I finally got myself a Playstation and some games and found myself lost in another world, a world filled with dragons and other fictitious creatures. Jason and I would talk on the phone for hours at a time, or, at least we used to, soon we only talked for maybe an hour before one of us would have to go, but we still considered each other as brothers. But, since my life was so easy going I at times found it hard to understand what he was going through. But one day it all changed.
"Mark! Someone is here to see you", I heard my mom yell from down stairs. "Coming, I just have to finish off this one last dragon,". I quickly finished him off and ran down stairs. There at the front door was Jason. "Jason! What are you doing here!?", I asked. I quickly gave him a hug. He smiled, let's go outside and talk for a bit and I'll tell ya". I wandered what could possibly be wrong, but came up with no feasible answer, so I quickly slipped on my boots and headed out. "So how have you been?", I asked cheerfully. He sighed. "Mark.... you know I've been sick lately?". "Yes? Didn't you go see a doctor or something a couple weeks ago?". "Yes, and, after a lot of checking he diagnosed me with acute lymphocytic leukemia, and he said that it's gone to far.... there's no cure......" "What are you saying?.... your going to have some surgeries or something?......." He put his hand on my shoulder. "He said I'm probably not gonna make it out of this year......
"I'm going to die......"
"No-no he's wrong.... your - your fine..... your gonna be fine...." Tears filled my eyes and blurred my vision. Jason hugged me and let me cry on his shoulder, I couldn't believe he was going to die.
Jason was staying with his sister in town, about 20 miles away, my mom agreed to let me go stay with them for a week or more. But I wasn't sure I could handle it, so I asked if it was alright if I stayed a couple nights at my house so I could pack up some stuff. That night I didn't sleep at all, and to try and get my mind off Jason I played more video games. "Die you stupid dragon!". I quickly switched from my sword to my bow and with one final shot I killed him. I looked over at the clock on my desk. It showed 5:23. Just above the clock was a picture of Jason and I. I realized that soon he would be gone and I would never see him again on this earth...
"Jesus, he's been through so much in his life... why are you making him suffer like this?.... please Savior don't let him die! People still need him....." I fell on my knees and started crying. After that night I went and spent the next 17 days with him, he's family all came to see him before he….died.... even one of his uncles he hadn't seen in 2 years came to see him, it all became a blur to me. I went home and stayed a week there, then when Jason got worse I went and stayed with him. His dad wasn't taking it as hard as his siblings.... his sister especially was distraught. A few days later Jason and I stayed up half a night talking. "You know Mark, I am at perfect peace with God and with my end, I have trust and faith that I will spend eternity with my Lord and Savior, and hey, at least I'm doing it the easy way, you're gonna have to live through the end of the world." "Why do you say that? I might day tomorrow for all we know". "Jason half smiled, but you won't. Well, I'm getting tired, how bout we get some sleep”.  “okay, goodnight bro, sleep well”. “Night”, He smiled and lay down on his bed. I had trouble falling asleep that night, I had a bad feeling about tomorrow.
Surprisingly I was the first one up that morning. “Hey Jason, you wanna get something to eat?”. I walked over to his bed….. he lay there pale, and cold. The tears didn’t come right away, I stood there for a good 15 minutes before I fell down on my knees and stared crying….
His dad walked in the room. “Is he?....” his voice trailed off. “Yes, he’s sleeping in Jesus’ arms….”

That was the saddest most difficult day of my life, the day one of God’s amazing people died at only 17…

30. Faith

Public school..... I hated it.... or at least strongly disliked it. I had heard that public school was a "nice" place. But I found that to be a lie. I couldn't share my faith, which I had tried to do on 4 different occasions, and 2 of those times my teacher overheard me and sent me to the  principles office. I had made a couple of friends, they weren't so bad, one was Baptist, the other a Lutheran. But they didn't really share there faith much, but they were nice. But little did I know I would soon be done with school for good.

I quickly grabbed my books out of my locker and started outside. "Hey, Joshua! Wait up!." I looked back to see a girl from my history class. Her name was Sandy. "Yes?." "Hey, I heard you talking to Daren yesterday about God and stuff? Do you truly believe in something that doesn't exist?." "Yes, I believe in God and He does exist." "You seem so sure, but don't Christians believe that the earth is only like a little over 6,000 years old?." "Yes, and in my denomination we also believe that God made the earth in 6 literal days and that Saturday is the true Sabbath." "Okay, but there is no God and the earth is millions of years old." "Well, I guess it is easier to believe that the earth was made by a "big bang" and  we evolved from apes then to believe in a God who made this earth and everything in it," I said in a sarcastic way. She half smiled. "Well, maybe there is a God.... well, anyway, I must get going now, see you around I guess." "Wait, read this," I handed her a small king James bible, I always kept one with me in case I found someone in need. "Thanks." "Your welcome, see you later." I smiled and started walking home. I felt happy with myself, maybe public school wouldn't be so bad after all.
After a few minutes I soon realized I was being followed by 2 boys from school. I was only maybe 10 minutes from home. I felt scared especially since these were two of the best football players of the school. After a bit I no longer felt scared but annoyed. I quickly turned around and started to walk towards them. "Is there something I can help you with?" I asked. The taller of the two stepped forward. "I want to know what you were doing talking to my girl?". "Calm down bro, I am not trying to steal your girlfriend or anything, she just wanted to know about my religious beliefs." He grunted. "Liar now tell me the truth." "I am telling the truth, now just leave me alone." I turned to go but he grabbed my arm. "Your trying to steal my girlfriend aren't you!." "I said no! I'm not trying to do anything of the sort! Now leave my alone!." I tried to get free but suddenly he pulled out a knife and stabbed me in the stomach area. I looked down at my stomach, blood was pouring out. "You - you stabbed me? You stabbed me.....?" I fell on the ground. He seemed just as surprised as I was. "I'm - I'm sorry.... I'm sorry." He quickly ran off, but his friend didn't. He knelt down beside me. I started to cough up some blood. "I'm calling 911, just hang on." In one hand he had his phone, and with the other he tried to stop the bleeding. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. "Tell your friend that I forgive him, and tell my family not to press charges, I do forgive him." I coughed up more blood. "No, just hang on, you can tell them yourself!." "No friend, I wont be able to, I'm going to die." "But you cant! You still... you still need to talk to me about your faith." I squeezed his hand. "Do you believe in that Jesus Christ died for you?." Yes.” “Then tell Him your sorry for all the wrongdoings you have done and He will forgive you.” I could just barely here sirens in the distance. "There coming! Just hang on a little longer!."  Tears rolled down his face. "And, tell my family, I love them." He slowly nodded. I saw the flashing lights, but I knew that I would be dead before they even stepped foot out of there ambulance. "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. Believe in Him friend, and I'll see you again." As I slowly closed my eyes I remembered that even on the cross Jesus forgave His murderers, and I was at perfect peace with God, and I knew that the next thought I'd have would be when Jesus calls me from the grave.

65. A Moment in Time

As I stepped out the door I felt an amazing sensation come over me, the temperature was just perfect and the wind made it even better. Strangely enough I felt like I was by a small pond in autumn, I could see the crystal clear water and the beautiful trees changing from green to the amazing gold and orange colors of autumn. The grass was an amazing golden color, and the trees went on forever. I never felt such an amazing feeling like it, and, though it took me a minute to realize it, I could feel God’s presence right there with me. And such an amazing feeling it is…

17. Vengeance

I lay by the table holding my thigh trying to stop the bleeding, but the knife was very deep, and the pain was horrifying. And as I lay I watched helplessly as the man grabbed my wife and stabbed her repeatedly. At that moment my heart broke into a billion pieces that I knew would never be able to be put back together again. And I promised myself that I would find this guy no mater what.

5 years later.
I had followed this man for five years and through 12 different countries and I still hadn't caught him. It was getting very agrivating, but I knew the man was getting tired of this game of 'cat and mouse' too, soon I would get my chance. And what a better place to get him then in New York City.
I parked my truck near the front door of the grocery store and I pulled out my 9 mil. and quickly put a clip in it then I slipped it into my holster under my jacket. My left thigh hurt but I ignored the pain and quickly stepped out. Shopping; the one thing my wife hated to do, weird isn't? I slowly walked into the store, not expecting to see him. He was tall, at least 6' 6"; his hair was Sandy blonde, his eyes didn't seem to fit with his hair, for they were dark brown, more like black. His arms were long and muscular; but he was slow, exempt behind the wheel of a car. "Get milk; get cereal; get out," I mumbled to myself. As soon as I walked in though I saw him, standing in line with a couple bottles of vodka in one hand and a couple 20s in the other. I slowly raised my hand towards my vest where my 9 mil. was. "Can I help you with anything sir", the cashier lady asked. He shot a quick glance at her,"no, sorry". He said as he put the vodka on the counter then left. He slowly walked past me. I suddenly felt the pain of my wife's death again. I felt short compared to him; I was only 5' 6", and my wife wasn't much shorter then I. Since her death I hadn't thought much about how I looked. I usually just wore a simple pair of jeans, a t shirt and my boots. My brown hair had started to get a bit of gray, and my brown eyes had grown tired of this life, but I still hadn't given up on finding this man.
I quickly followed him outside. I quickly looked around trying to see him, but he seemed to have vanished. "No!", I yelled at myself. "He can't be far". I slowly hobbled around the corner of the building and then I saw him swiftly walk down an alley. Mustering all the strength I could I quickly ran after him. He stood not far from me, maybe 10 yards.
"I give up, I'm not running anymore, just kill me now and get it over with". I slowly pulled out the 9 mil. and took the safety off. He spread his arms out and closed his eyes. I slowly raised the gun...
and put the safety on and pulled out the clip.
"What are you doing!? Just kill me!". He said as he fell on his knees.
I slowly put the gun on the ground. "I forgive you, I don't want to kill you. I forgive you". "You - you forgive me?... but I killed your wife, you have every right to kill me". "No. We were both Christians, but when you killed my wife I left the church, but after some time Jesus revived me, and showed me that forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts, it is truly amazing". He started crying. I quickly walked over to him and started to   comfort him. "No, I deserve to die by your hands". "We all deserve death, we're all sinners, but we have Jesus Christ's forgiveness. He payed the price for us. He died so men like you and I can live forever with our King, the King of kings". "I'm - sorry I killed your wife, I didn't know you guys would get back home so early. I shouldn't have been there, and right now you should be with your wife, and you should have children, but I stole it all from you, and I am sorry. Please, help me to find Him". "Yes, I will help you".

9. Death

Okay, so some of my writings are real events that happened to me or someone else I know, but this one is I guess mostly focused on me, and it's in 3rd person.

9. Death

Daniel slowly walked outside to do the morning pet chores. His family had a small little farm, consisting of chickens, goats, cats a couple dogs, and rabbits… lots of rabbits. So many rabbits in fact that Daniel gave up on trying to keep count. He and his brother usually on a good day could get the chores done and the milking in about half an hour. But as they walked off the patio they noticed their dog Blaireau, (Who was a great Pyrenees) was not moving, lay still in front his dog house. Fear rushed over Daniel as he dropped the egg bucket and ran to the fence yelling “Blaireau!”. As he reached the dog’s side he soon realized his fears were true…. Blaireau was dead…

100 Themes

I am making this blog so I can share some of my writings, and this is a list of names or "themes" that I am doing as well, hope you all like them :-) and the checks are ones that I've already done and will be posting soon

1. Introduction
2. Complicated
3. Making History
4. Rivalry
5. Unbreakable
6. Obsession
7. Eternity
8. Gateway
9. Death✔
10. Opportunities
11. 33%
12. Dead Wrong
13. Running Away
14. Judgment
15. Seeking Solace
16. Excuses
17. Vengeance✔
18. Love
19. Tears
20. My Inspiration
21. Never Again
22. Online
23. Failure
24. Rebirth
25. Breaking Away
26. Forever and a day
27. Lost and Found
28. Light
29. Dark
30. Faith
31. Colors
32. Exploration
33. Seeing Red
34. Shades of Grey
35. Forgotten
36. Dreamer
37. Mist
38. Burning
39. Out of Time
40. Knowing How
41. Fork in the road
42. Start
43. Nature’s Fury
44. At Peace
45. Heart Song
46. Reflection
47. Perfection
48. Everyday Magic
49. Umbrella
50. Party
51. Troubling Thoughts
52. Stirring of the Wind
53. Future
54. Health and Healing
55. Separation
56. Everything For You
57. Slow Down
58. Heartfelt Apology
59. Challenged
60. Exhaustion
61. Accuracy
62. Irregular Orbit
63. Cold Embrace
64. Frost
65. A Moment in Time✔
66. Dangerous Territory
67. Boundaries
68. Unsettling Revelations
69. Shattered
70. Bitter Silence
71. The True You
72. Pretense
73. Patience
74. Midnight
75. Shadows
76. Summer Haze
77. Memories
78. Change in the Weather
79. Illogical
80. Only Human
81. A Place to Belong
82. Advantage
83. Breakfast
84. Echoes
85. Falling
86. Picking up the Pieces
87. Gunshot
88. Possession
89. Twilight
90. Nowhere and Nothing
91. Answers
92. Innocence
93. Simplicity
94. Reality
95. Acceptance
96. Lesson
97. Enthusiasm
98. Game
99. Friendship
100. Endings