18. Love 2.0

I stared at her for a few seconds as I tried to process what she just asked me.
"Are you serious?" It was a stupid question. I could see it in her beautiful bluish grey eyes.
Her smile faltered but didn't completely go away.
"Yes, I am very serious."
I bit the inside of my cheek. Man this is heavy, I thought to myself. But there was no denying it, and, in fact, I was planning to ask in a few weeks anyway.
I quickly regained my composure. "Well Kate, I always thought it should be the guy asking, but yes, yes I will marry you." Kate let out her adorable little squeal when she was to exited to speak and jumped into my arms, making me almost lose my balance. I pulled her back just long enough to see her happiness, and than let my lips press into hers. 

*Warning, steamy content below*

The morning light shining through the curtains, lighting up her naked breasts.
Her chest falling and rising rhythmically.
The white sheets over her legs almost seem to be aglow.
Her face, in the restfulness of sleep, seemed even more beautiful.
Her pink soft lips relaxed, her eyes at perfect peace in her sleeping state.
With steady hands and slow movements her lover reached under the sheets and slowly ran his hand up her thigh.
Her eyes slowly opened, revealing dark brown eyes, which started intently into his.
Without any words their lips met and their body's pressed together in passion, filling the morning with the spark of life. 

34. Shades of Gray

I quickly shot her a glance every minute or so.
I couldn't help it. She was gorgeous, but it wasn't just her beautiful female mystique that had me hooked, it was her eyes.
Those beautiful eyes... A bluish gray that I had never every seen in my life.
I don't like staring so every chance I got I'd look.
They almost reminded me of lake Tahoe... But the lake is to blue.
Maybe Pupu Springs New Zealand.
No, still not right.
Cayo Coca Cuba?
Not even close.
No lake ocean spring or even my words could describe her beautiful eyes.

As I walked out I gave one last longing glance at the most beautiful bluish gray eyes I have ever seen.

45. Heart Song

Reading her favorite book... It was the only way she's sleep when she was sick... And I should know, I've been married to her for five years.
"'..The opening into the hillside was left open, and often in hot summer days the Narnians go in there with ships and lanterns and down to the water and sail to and fro, singing, on the cool, dark underground sea, telling each other stories of the cities that lie fathoms deep low. If you ever have the luck to go to Narnia yourself, do not forget to have a look at those caves.'"
I carefully closed the book and looked down at my sleeping beauty.... She lay asleep on left shoulder, she looked so peaceful and so beautiful, laying there asleep, her beautiful brown hair in a mess... She truly is the love of my life.

(Picture credit to my best friend ♥)

My Tree

Away up high in a tree
Is where you'll find me
High above the ground
Touching the sky like a bird
One with the tree
I'll sway ever so slightly in the wind
It feels like flying up there
And if by chance I lose my grip
Do not fret
For I know the big branches
Of my tree will catch me.

Anger Issues

I quickly swing my metal bat into the right side of the toilet tank and watch as the pieces all fly into the bathtub. It’s a nice sound, listening to the tank shatter. I quickly raise the bat and with every bit of strength I can summon I smash it into the boll. The water from the tank and now boll has soaked the floor and surrounding areas. I watch as the water still continues to run. Not feeling satisfied with that I move on to the sink. The sink was one of those fancy ones that didn’t have any drawers and was only held up by a center pillar. I quickly swing the bat into the pillar and jump back as the sink falls to the floor after losing its support. It cracked but didn’t fully break so I smash my bat into it. It’s beautiful to see the water spewing out of the wall onto the tiled floor. I slowly walk out to the dining room where the glass table was. I knew this would be fun. I quickly yank off the thin fabric table cloth and then with my gloved fist I smash it in. It shatters to the ground in a million pieces. Still not feeling satisfied I walk over to a blank wall and start hitting it with my bat. Hit after hit until I’ve basically left no square inch of untouched dry wall. I step back and admire my work.
I laugh as a few pieces fall to the ground.

Yup. I’m good now.

64. Frost

It's so cold
here on the floor,
Where my feet freeze
and the ice grows,
My heart
beats but my
blood is frozen,
I try to speak
but my words are ice,
I try to cry
but my tears are frozen,
I want to scream
but its so cold.

Blurred

I feel it pulling me down; no matter how hard I fight it I cannot prevail.
It pulls me down, into the darkness, the unknown, the path that’s unknown to everyone; a path so unexplored and unused.
The world stops and transforms into something totally unexpected.
My eyes grow weary and I can’t keep them open; my vision blurs and the world around me becomes more vibrant and more fictional.
As night turns into dawn I exit the unknown and unexplored path back into reality.
But in only a few short hours I will be back.

The Message

I slowly whistled in astonishment.
“What is it?” Keith asked.
He stood hovering over my left shoulder with his boll of lasagna.
“This thumb drive is practically empty….. there’s only one thing on here and it’s not even taking up a hole gigabyte.”
“So what is on here?”
“Hold on, let me just open up the file….. and here we are!”
“Its… it’s a note from Frank….. how’s that possible?...”
I started to read what it said aloud, “‘ Ezio, by the time you read this I will be long gone out of town, I know you and Kate went to the police, but they won’t find me. One thing I learned from being a foster child is to hide, and so I shall, and you’ll only find me when I’m ready to be found…. But be ware, I may come for your family, or friends first! And say hello to Keith for me when you see him. And don’t even think of taking this to the police, within five minutes of being read this message will automatically delete itself. And remember, watch your back.’”
“Man… he really is a psychopath….” Keith said as he took the last bite of his lasagna.
“Ezio? Are you home?”
“Yes aunt Clare! We’re up here!” I said as I stood up and walked over to my bedroom door.
“I’m sorry Ezio…. I wanted to come get you from the police station but I just wasn’t able to.”
I hugged her. There was the familiar smell of the hospital.
“It sure has been a whopper of a day…. What with you mom and all.” Aunt Clare said.
“What happened to Ezio’s mom?” Keith asked.
“Keith, didn’t know you were coming over.”
“Yeah well my parents were fighting so yeah.” Keith shrugged.
“So what happened with Ms. Sophie?”
I sighed. “The soldiers came today, they said she was MIA…..”
“I’m sorry bro…. I know it’s tuff… but hang on, everything will work out for those who trust in God.”
I now hugged Keith, “Thanks bro, your a good friend.”
“Haha, thanks, I try to be.”
“So have you boys eaten supper yet?” Aunt Clare asked.
Keith showed her his boll, “I have.”
“Have you Ezio?”
“Um…. No, I’m not really hungry.”
“You should eat something anyway, even if it is only a banana.”
“Yes ma’am.”
Aunt Clare started to leave when she stopped, “Oh, and Ezio, make sure not to get your cut infected.” She pointed to my bandaged arm.
“Yes ma’am, I’ll make sure to keep it clean….”
She smiled and walked to her room where she would probably change out of her scrubs.
I always wondered if she knew about my cutting… but she never confronted me about it, though, for some strange reason I actually wanted her to catch me doing it so she would make me stop….. I felt like I couldn’t stop…. I prayed about it all the time, but yet I felt as if Jesus didn’t hear or listen to me anymore….. I felt… lost, and so far away from God, but I knew He was there, and He was, and what happened with Kate was proof of that…. But yet I doubted……

The next 2 weeks were a blur, especially with school.
And after what happened with Kate the principal said she didn’t have to come in to school rite away, and she wouldn’t be expelled.
And it was definitely a good thing she didn’t come back right away….
“Hey Ezio! It’s a good thing your girlfriend didn’t come back! Especially since she went lying to the cops about Frank! Stupid Ka-.”
I quickly shoved Marry up against the lockers slamming one of the doors shut in the process.
“It was your boyfriend Frank who did it! I saw him and his pagliacci asulte Kate! Now leave her alone you pagliacci!”
Keith quickly stepped in and pulled me away from her.
“Ezio, calm down bruh!”
I glared at Keith. “Calm? I am calm, and I can handle someone making fun of me! But when it comes to my family and friends I will not stand it!”
Keith patted my shoulder. “I know, you’ve always stuck up for me when I couldn’t, but don’t go making enemies, just let her be! It’ll pass. Come on, let’s get out of here, school sucks…..” Keith started to pull me away.
“And what did you call her anyway?”
I smiled, “I called her a clown.”
Keith started laughing.
We both laughed as we left the school.

51. Troubling Thoughts

We sat in the police station waiting for Kate’s parents to arrive and my aunt to come.
“So how are you feeling?” I asked Kate as I leaned forward on the bench we were on.
“OK I think…. That was the scariest moment in my life, but yet… it was… amazing….. especially since Jesus protected me. I still can’t believe it.”
I nodded. “Davvero,” (indeed), “it is quit amazing.”
“Kate!.”
Kate’s mother ran up to her daughter and gave her a great big hug.
“Are alright? They didn’t hurt you did they?.”
“No mom, they didn’t even have a chance, Jesus protected me, there leader Frank couldn’t even get my belt off, but mother look! I’m not even wearing a belt!”
Mrs. Harding’s eyes got big.
“What!? How can that be?”
“It’s true ma’am,” I said, “Jesus protected her with a belt that doesn’t exist, it was quit amazing.”
There was a moment of silence.
“It’s a miracle…..” Mrs. Harding said quietly.
“Davvero.”
“What?”
“Oh, sorry, it means indeed.”
“Ah, okay. Just give me a minute to talk to the officer and then I’ll take you home,” Mrs. Harding said to Kate.
“Wait? Where’s dad?” Kate asked.
“He’s at work, I tried to call him twice but he didn’t answer, he’s probably to busy to pick up.”
“Oh, I see.”
Mrs. Harding quickly gave Kate another hug then walked off to talk to the officer.
Kate seemed worried.
“What’s wrong?” I asked as I sat back down.
Kate did the same.
“Oh nothing….”
“Kate? Don’t lie to me now!”
She smiled. “Don’t worry about it, it’s nothing.”
I poked her in the side. “Tell me, what’s wrong?”
“Well….”
“Yes?”
“It’s just that Frank threatened you, and me…. What if the police don’t catch him? What if he goes after my dad or something?”
I sighed. “Oh Kate….. just have trust and faith in God, everything will be fine….. besides, he’s just a stupid football player, what really can he do?”
“Kate! Ezio! Can you two come here please?”
Mrs. Harding stood in the doorway of the officers office.
We both walked over to her.
“Yes? What is it?”
“You said the main suspect is Frank Spooner correct?”
“Yes officer, what is going on?” I asked, noting the pale look on Mrs. Harding’s face.
“Frank Spooner is a false name, his real name is  Jack Franklin Mandryk, the illegitimate child of Rodney Mandryk, a psychopath murderer who killed over a 100 people in 1994.
“He was caught in ’96 and was found guilty of man slaughter, and was sentenced to death.
“But 17 months before we caught him he got a girl pregnant, she died in childbirth and so Jack was put in foster care, where he stayed until he turned 18 last year.”
No one said anything for an entire minute.
“So,” Kate broke the silence first, “What your saying is he might be a psychopath like his father?”
The officer sighed. “Yes, it is a big possibility that he is a psychopath…… and he threatened both of you, and we should definitely take his threats seriously.”
“Is there anything we can do to avoid him following through on his threats?” Mrs. Harding asked.
“No, I’m afraid not. But do report any suspicious behavior, and you should probably have your daughter take some self defense classes. And here’s my card incase you ever need anything.” He shook all of our hands before walking us out.
“Ezio, is your aunt coming to pick you up? Or do you need a ride?” Mrs. Harding asked.
“She was in the middle of some surgery so yes, a ride would be much appreciated.”

When we got to my house I quickly said goodbye and started to unlock the front door.
“Ezio? Where have you been?”
I jumped.
“Keith! I nearly punched you!”
Keith stood behind me.
“Nah, you’d never do that to me would you?”
I chuckled. “Yeah, your right. Come on in, what are you doing here anyway?” I asked as I opened the door. We both walked inside.
“Well my parents are fighting again soo?....”
I took the hint. “Yes, you can stay the night.”
“Yes! So what you have to eat?” Keith asked as he walked into the kitchen.
“I think there’s some left over lasagna from last night. Help yourself I gotta let Blaireau in.”
I quickly unlocked the back door and let my great Pyrenees inside.
He was a good dog, he was a present to me on my 13th birthday, and now 4 years later he was in his prime and he was a huge dog, and I loved him so much.
He wagged his tail as he walked in.
“How’s my pup? Come on! Come on!”
I gestured for him to get up on his hind legs and give me a hug. He quickly did so.
“Good boy Blaireau!”
I quickly turned my attention back to Keith.
“Want some soda with that? I think we have a can or two of Dr.Pepper in the fridge somewhere,” I asked as I opened the fridge and started looking for the elusive cans of soda.
“Sure, why not.
“Oh, and someone told me to give you this.” Keith pulled out a thumb drive from his pocket.
I handed him his Dr.Pepper.
“Hm…. Only 4 gigabytes….. who told you to give this to me?”
“I don’t know,” Keith said in between mouthfuls of lasagna, “But I didn’t ask cause he gave me this to do it.” Out of another pocket he pulled out a roll of 50s.
“Whoa! How much is that?”
“500 dollars, he just handed me the thumb drive and this money then walked away. All I know.”
“Did you check it? Is it real?”
“Yes, I’m sure of it.”
“That is strange…. It wasn’t Frank was it?”
“Frank Spooner? No…. Why would it be him?”
“Because he tried to rape Kate…. But he was very unsuccessful.”
“What? Is she alright?”
“Yeah, she’s just fine. Jesus protected her! It was amazing! He couldn’t get her belt off! But get this! She wasn’t wearing a belt.”
“What? How’s that… possible…..”
I could tell Keith had just figured it out.
“Wow.... that’s amazing.”
“Indeed it is.”
“Ah, so is that what happened to your arm and why you have a bandage on it?”
I looked at my arm, the bandage was covering both cuts.
“Uh yeah kind of. Anyway, let’s see what’s on this thumb drive!”

Damaged part 1

I slowly slid the cold blade across my skin. Somehow it relieved me from my stress and anxiety.
I heard someone walk in the front door and sit down on the other side of the wall.
“Kate.”
“Ezio.”
I quickly wrapped my towel around my arm and sat my knife down beside me.
“What are you doing here?,” I asked stretching out the question longer then it should be.
She sighed. “Ms. Clare told me what happened.”
Now it was my turn to sigh. “The soldiers came today around 11:30, ‘Ms. Clare? I am sorry to say but your sister Sophie Ilawn Antúnez went missing two weeks ago.’”
“I – I’m sorry Ezio….. I know it’s hard but I’m sure they’ll find her.”
I stood up and looked at her through the hole in the wall. “Kate! I lost my father the same way! I was 5 years old when he too went MIA, and now 12 years later my mother is MIA as well!.”
She stood up as well. She eyed my wrapped up arm. “Ezio Antúnez!! I thought you had stopped that crap!.” She quickly walked over to the nearest hole that she could fit in and squeezed through.
“I know bu-.”
She slapped me before I could finish.
“Ouch! That hurt!.”
“Yes well it hurts me to see you go back to your old habits!.” She cooled down a bit then looked at my new cut.
“Well…. It’s not deep, at least you didn’t cut yourself that bad.” She sighed.
“I couldn’t help it…. I just didn’t know how to relieve the anxiety and stress… and pain.” I slumped down back onto my spot on the floor.
“You could’ve taken an ax to a log, you could’ve gone to the gym and lifted some weights, you could’ve punched a hallow wall! Just don’t cut yourself!.” She sat down in front of me.
I half smiled. “Yes, I could’ve done one of those things….”
“Listen, I can’t stay long, I got a date with Fran-.”
“Frank Spooner!? The football player? That guys name alone sounds so crazy!.”
She punched my shoulder. “Forget Frank, you go home, invite one of your friends over and do something, but don’t stay here alone! Or I’ll slap you even harder next time I see you!.”
“Okay okay, I’ll go home! Just don’t stay out to late with serial killer Frank Spooner!.”
She punched me again and then winked at me and left.
I quickly picked up my knife and started walking home. I really didn’t want to be alone, and I knew Aunt Clare was feeling pretty down too, and maybe I could invite Keith over and we could play a video game so I could get my mind off of everything.
As I walked I began to pray, “Jesus, please forgive me for cutting myself… I didn’t know how to cope with the pain and stress and I let myself fall back into that old habit, please forgive me Savior, and please, protect my mother and comfort us… comfort me. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
I turned down the street of my house when I heard someone behind me. I quickly turned around.
“Jeffrey? What on earth are you doing here!?.”
Jeffrey was one of the smallest football players but he was still very good at it, and he was also known for his lack of self control…. especially around the girls.
“I-uh…” I quickly pushed him up against one of the trees.
“ You were following Kate weren't you?!.”
Even though he was a football player I was still a better boxer, I was in fact the schools second best. And I also knew self defense.
“Uh…”
“Why were you following her!?.” I reached in his pocket and took out his phone and read the last txt message sent, ‘she’s on her way and she’s alone, have the boys ready.’ I couldn’t believe what I was reading.
I quickly turned around and put my hands on his shoulders, “What is Frank and his boys planning!? Tell me!.” I started to shake him.
“There planning to ra-ra……”
I felt a surge of anger and I quickly punched him in the face knocking him out instantly.
“Jesus please don’t let this happen to her!."

Damaged part 2

I quickly grabbed Jeff by his shirt and picked him up.
“Wake up! Come on!.” I shook Jeff vigorously but to no avail. “I guess I hit you too hard.” I carelessly let go of him and let him fall to the ground.
I started pacing. “Where was she going? Where is Frank planning on…?” I couldn’t even bare to think the word.
“Please Jesus tell me where to go!.” I dropped Jeff’s phone and took off towards the old abandoned house where Kate and I were just a little while earlier.
“She said she was going on a date?..... it’s only-,” I looked at my watch, “ 4:17, it’s not very dark…..” I stopped at the front door. “Stupid me!.” I quickly pulled my phone out and started calling Kate.
“Pick up! Please Jesus let her pick up!.
“No!.” No answer. “Where would she go!.”
“She went towards Liberty street…. Aha! Of course! Frank lives near Liberty street! Stupid me!.” I quickly started running in the direction I assumed her to be.
It was now 4:34 and I was just now getting to the street.
I slowed down and quietly started walking down the street. It was extremely dark, especially down one of the alleys I passed.
“Jesus, be with her please if I can’t find her!” I quietly whispered.
Suddenly I heard a loud high pitched scream come from one of the near by alleys.
I slowly pulled my knife out of its sheath and started walking towards the alley.
“Shut her up before someone hears her!,” I could hear Frank say.
There was 4 of them, two of them were watching and one of them was holding her mouth shut while Frank started to try and get her pants off.
I stayed in the shadows and started making my way towards the group.
“Come on idiot! You can’t even get her belt undone!,” the one holding Kate’s mouth shut said.
“Shut up! I got this!.”
“Sure you do!” I thought.
I slowly snuck up to the ones watching.
I felt like slitting his throat but I knew that wouldn’t be right with God, that and I knew I’d regret it.
Without anymore thought on the subject I quickly turned one of them around and kneed him in the stomach and punched him in the face making him fall backwards.
“Ezio!”
The other three turned there dark gazes on me.
“Kill him!” Frank yelled as he stood up and pulled out a butterfly knife.
The other 2 followed suit.
I switched my knife from my left hand to my right.
They all quickly rushed towards me.
It was all a blur of blades. One came for my stomach, one came for my legs and another came for my throat. I dodged the one coming for my stomach, I deflected the one coming for my legs and I grabbed the arm wielding the one aimed for my throat. Without much thought I sliced him from his lower left side up towards his right shoulder.
He yelled out in pain.
“Fools! Kill him!.” He stepped back so the other two could try and get me. One of them sliced my arm but it wasn’t very deep. I quickly ripped the knife out of his hand and threw it on the ground.
With obvious defeat the third guy helped the one who I knocked out first and ran off, quickly followed by the 2nd guy.
“Fools! Come back!.”
“Frank, you’d better get that cut seen, it looks pretty deep, and my knife isn’t really sanitary. And you better not get to settled, the police will be coming to visit you very soon.”
He growled. “This isn’t the end Ezio Antúnez! I swear I’ll see you again! And next time only one of us will live to see the light of day again!.”
“What? Your going to go live in a cave or something?.”
He said nothing more as he left but before he was totally gone he said, “And you’d better keep a close eye on your friend there, I just might come for her again!.” And then he was gone.
I knelt down by Kate. “Hey, are you alright? Can you stand?.”
“I think so.”
I quickly helped her up. “I’m sorry, I should’ve been here sooner.”
She hugged me and started sobbing.
“It’s okay, I’m here now, and Jesus protected you, that guy couldn’t even get your belt off.”
She looked at me. “But Ezio, I’m not even wearing a belt.”
I stared at her dumbfounded. “But, I heard them, he couldn’t get your belt off!.” I stood back. Sure enough, no belt.
“It-it must’ve been Jesus, protecting me.”
“Yes…. It must’ve been….”

94. Reality

“Reality….. oh such a scary word”, I thought to myself as I closed my bedroom door behind me. I carelessly threw my phone on my bed. I slumped down in my desk chair, letting my tears roll down my cheeks. “I did it again I did! Why did I do that to myself! Every time I try to talk to her about God she just starts cussing at me!”.
I had tried for years to get through to my girlfriend….. I loved her, honestly I did, and I think she loved me, and we had been dating for almost 2 years and I really wanted to marry her, but when I was younger I had made a vow to God that I’d never marry someone outside of my religion….. but she just refused to listen to me talk about God.
“why God? Why can’t I get through to her!? I love her! And I want to marry her! But I can’t if she doesn’t honestly believe in You….. I guess in reality I should just break up with her and move on.
“But why? Why can’t I get through to her! Jesus help her please to see the truth!....”
That night I fell asleep weeping for my loves salvation, I prayed so hard that she would change, but I was afraid that it just wasn’t meant to be…
1 week later.
“Hey hony, watcha doin?”. I smiled at my girlfriend.
“Just reading, I’m surprised you actually came, I thought you were mad at me?”. I quickly closed my book and quickly took a sip of my Starbucks coffe. The café was fairly empty, making it so I could get my favorite table by the window.
“Well you said it was important, so here I am”. She sat down in the chair across from me. “It is. You see, we’ve been dating for like 2 years now, and, I love you, I truly do, and I want to marry you b-“. “Yes! Oh yes! I want to marry you too!”. She said smiling. I smiled, “let me finish please”. She nodded. “But when I was younger I made a vow to God that I’d never marry someone outside of my religion, so if you don’t truly love God and want to know Him better then I cannot marry you”. At this point her smile had vanished and she seemed to be ready to cry.
“So in reality if you don’t want Him then you don’t want me….. I would be a terrible husband if you didn’t love Him, I would always try to teach you of Him, and I know you hate that…… please, don’t be mad……” Somehow she managed to smile, “I guess your rite, you wouldn’t be a good husband, you idiota!”. She stormed out in a rage. That was the worst…. She always cursed at me in her native language….. Italian.
I slowly walked back to my apartment, I felt as if I had made a massive mistake. “Lord? Did I do the correct thing? Was I rite in breaking up with her? Lord, I- I love her….. so much…….” As I turned the corner at the top of the steps at my apartment building I saw her sitting in front of my door, not crying, but she wasn’t really smiling either.
She stood up when she saw me. “I – I’m sorry, I always shut you out when you started talking about God, and, I do love you, and if He’s your God, then He’s my God too”. My face lit up with a massive smile. I quickly embraced her. “You know what?”. “What?”. “I love you, and, actually, realty isn’t so bad after all”.

18. Love

Love; it's one of the most beautiful words.... but how do we love someone? "We love because He first loved us". God's love for us was so great that He gave His only Son to die on a cross for us. "Greater love has no one this, than to lay down his life for his friends". It is impossible to love someone without God, and if we truly love God then we love all of His creatures, and that, that is true love.

19. Tears

I have had a blessed life, and it's always been that way for me. I had two older siblings and a younger sibling, and, for the most part I got along with them. My mom and dad were happily married, they rarely ever fought, which made everything that much more peaceful. But as for my best friend Jason, life was tough. His mom died when he was 6 or 7, and his dad had trouble supporting them, he worked all the time and sent the kids to school, (Jason also had two older siblings and a younger one), but being Adventist in a public school wasn't easy for Jason, but we become friends and we were best friends for a good decade. But, after awhile they moved away and I rarely got to see him anymore. It made me sad but I quickly got over it. Not long after that I finally got myself a Playstation and some games and found myself lost in another world, a world filled with dragons and other fictitious creatures. Jason and I would talk on the phone for hours at a time, or, at least we used to, soon we only talked for maybe an hour before one of us would have to go, but we still considered each other as brothers. But, since my life was so easy going I at times found it hard to understand what he was going through. But one day it all changed.
"Mark! Someone is here to see you", I heard my mom yell from down stairs. "Coming, I just have to finish off this one last dragon,". I quickly finished him off and ran down stairs. There at the front door was Jason. "Jason! What are you doing here!?", I asked. I quickly gave him a hug. He smiled, let's go outside and talk for a bit and I'll tell ya". I wandered what could possibly be wrong, but came up with no feasible answer, so I quickly slipped on my boots and headed out. "So how have you been?", I asked cheerfully. He sighed. "Mark.... you know I've been sick lately?". "Yes? Didn't you go see a doctor or something a couple weeks ago?". "Yes, and, after a lot of checking he diagnosed me with acute lymphocytic leukemia, and he said that it's gone to far.... there's no cure......" "What are you saying?.... your going to have some surgeries or something?......." He put his hand on my shoulder. "He said I'm probably not gonna make it out of this year......
"I'm going to die......"
"No-no he's wrong.... your - your fine..... your gonna be fine...." Tears filled my eyes and blurred my vision. Jason hugged me and let me cry on his shoulder, I couldn't believe he was going to die.
Jason was staying with his sister in town, about 20 miles away, my mom agreed to let me go stay with them for a week or more. But I wasn't sure I could handle it, so I asked if it was alright if I stayed a couple nights at my house so I could pack up some stuff. That night I didn't sleep at all, and to try and get my mind off Jason I played more video games. "Die you stupid dragon!". I quickly switched from my sword to my bow and with one final shot I killed him. I looked over at the clock on my desk. It showed 5:23. Just above the clock was a picture of Jason and I. I realized that soon he would be gone and I would never see him again on this earth...
"Jesus, he's been through so much in his life... why are you making him suffer like this?.... please Savior don't let him die! People still need him....." I fell on my knees and started crying. After that night I went and spent the next 17 days with him, he's family all came to see him before he….died.... even one of his uncles he hadn't seen in 2 years came to see him, it all became a blur to me. I went home and stayed a week there, then when Jason got worse I went and stayed with him. His dad wasn't taking it as hard as his siblings.... his sister especially was distraught. A few days later Jason and I stayed up half a night talking. "You know Mark, I am at perfect peace with God and with my end, I have trust and faith that I will spend eternity with my Lord and Savior, and hey, at least I'm doing it the easy way, you're gonna have to live through the end of the world." "Why do you say that? I might day tomorrow for all we know". "Jason half smiled, but you won't. Well, I'm getting tired, how bout we get some sleep”.  “okay, goodnight bro, sleep well”. “Night”, He smiled and lay down on his bed. I had trouble falling asleep that night, I had a bad feeling about tomorrow.
Surprisingly I was the first one up that morning. “Hey Jason, you wanna get something to eat?”. I walked over to his bed….. he lay there pale, and cold. The tears didn’t come right away, I stood there for a good 15 minutes before I fell down on my knees and stared crying….
His dad walked in the room. “Is he?....” his voice trailed off. “Yes, he’s sleeping in Jesus’ arms….”

That was the saddest most difficult day of my life, the day one of God’s amazing people died at only 17…

30. Faith

Public school..... I hated it.... or at least strongly disliked it. I had heard that public school was a "nice" place. But I found that to be a lie. I couldn't share my faith, which I had tried to do on 4 different occasions, and 2 of those times my teacher overheard me and sent me to the  principles office. I had made a couple of friends, they weren't so bad, one was Baptist, the other a Lutheran. But they didn't really share there faith much, but they were nice. But little did I know I would soon be done with school for good.

I quickly grabbed my books out of my locker and started outside. "Hey, Joshua! Wait up!." I looked back to see a girl from my history class. Her name was Sandy. "Yes?." "Hey, I heard you talking to Daren yesterday about God and stuff? Do you truly believe in something that doesn't exist?." "Yes, I believe in God and He does exist." "You seem so sure, but don't Christians believe that the earth is only like a little over 6,000 years old?." "Yes, and in my denomination we also believe that God made the earth in 6 literal days and that Saturday is the true Sabbath." "Okay, but there is no God and the earth is millions of years old." "Well, I guess it is easier to believe that the earth was made by a "big bang" and  we evolved from apes then to believe in a God who made this earth and everything in it," I said in a sarcastic way. She half smiled. "Well, maybe there is a God.... well, anyway, I must get going now, see you around I guess." "Wait, read this," I handed her a small king James bible, I always kept one with me in case I found someone in need. "Thanks." "Your welcome, see you later." I smiled and started walking home. I felt happy with myself, maybe public school wouldn't be so bad after all.
After a few minutes I soon realized I was being followed by 2 boys from school. I was only maybe 10 minutes from home. I felt scared especially since these were two of the best football players of the school. After a bit I no longer felt scared but annoyed. I quickly turned around and started to walk towards them. "Is there something I can help you with?" I asked. The taller of the two stepped forward. "I want to know what you were doing talking to my girl?". "Calm down bro, I am not trying to steal your girlfriend or anything, she just wanted to know about my religious beliefs." He grunted. "Liar now tell me the truth." "I am telling the truth, now just leave me alone." I turned to go but he grabbed my arm. "Your trying to steal my girlfriend aren't you!." "I said no! I'm not trying to do anything of the sort! Now leave my alone!." I tried to get free but suddenly he pulled out a knife and stabbed me in the stomach area. I looked down at my stomach, blood was pouring out. "You - you stabbed me? You stabbed me.....?" I fell on the ground. He seemed just as surprised as I was. "I'm - I'm sorry.... I'm sorry." He quickly ran off, but his friend didn't. He knelt down beside me. I started to cough up some blood. "I'm calling 911, just hang on." In one hand he had his phone, and with the other he tried to stop the bleeding. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. "Tell your friend that I forgive him, and tell my family not to press charges, I do forgive him." I coughed up more blood. "No, just hang on, you can tell them yourself!." "No friend, I wont be able to, I'm going to die." "But you cant! You still... you still need to talk to me about your faith." I squeezed his hand. "Do you believe in that Jesus Christ died for you?." Yes.” “Then tell Him your sorry for all the wrongdoings you have done and He will forgive you.” I could just barely here sirens in the distance. "There coming! Just hang on a little longer!."  Tears rolled down his face. "And, tell my family, I love them." He slowly nodded. I saw the flashing lights, but I knew that I would be dead before they even stepped foot out of there ambulance. "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. Believe in Him friend, and I'll see you again." As I slowly closed my eyes I remembered that even on the cross Jesus forgave His murderers, and I was at perfect peace with God, and I knew that the next thought I'd have would be when Jesus calls me from the grave.

65. A Moment in Time

As I stepped out the door I felt an amazing sensation come over me, the temperature was just perfect and the wind made it even better. Strangely enough I felt like I was by a small pond in autumn, I could see the crystal clear water and the beautiful trees changing from green to the amazing gold and orange colors of autumn. The grass was an amazing golden color, and the trees went on forever. I never felt such an amazing feeling like it, and, though it took me a minute to realize it, I could feel God’s presence right there with me. And such an amazing feeling it is…

17. Vengeance

I lay by the table holding my thigh trying to stop the bleeding, but the knife was very deep, and the pain was horrifying. And as I lay I watched helplessly as the man grabbed my wife and stabbed her repeatedly. At that moment my heart broke into a billion pieces that I knew would never be able to be put back together again. And I promised myself that I would find this guy no mater what.

5 years later.
I had followed this man for five years and through 12 different countries and I still hadn't caught him. It was getting very agrivating, but I knew the man was getting tired of this game of 'cat and mouse' too, soon I would get my chance. And what a better place to get him then in New York City.
I parked my truck near the front door of the grocery store and I pulled out my 9 mil. and quickly put a clip in it then I slipped it into my holster under my jacket. My left thigh hurt but I ignored the pain and quickly stepped out. Shopping; the one thing my wife hated to do, weird isn't? I slowly walked into the store, not expecting to see him. He was tall, at least 6' 6"; his hair was Sandy blonde, his eyes didn't seem to fit with his hair, for they were dark brown, more like black. His arms were long and muscular; but he was slow, exempt behind the wheel of a car. "Get milk; get cereal; get out," I mumbled to myself. As soon as I walked in though I saw him, standing in line with a couple bottles of vodka in one hand and a couple 20s in the other. I slowly raised my hand towards my vest where my 9 mil. was. "Can I help you with anything sir", the cashier lady asked. He shot a quick glance at her,"no, sorry". He said as he put the vodka on the counter then left. He slowly walked past me. I suddenly felt the pain of my wife's death again. I felt short compared to him; I was only 5' 6", and my wife wasn't much shorter then I. Since her death I hadn't thought much about how I looked. I usually just wore a simple pair of jeans, a t shirt and my boots. My brown hair had started to get a bit of gray, and my brown eyes had grown tired of this life, but I still hadn't given up on finding this man.
I quickly followed him outside. I quickly looked around trying to see him, but he seemed to have vanished. "No!", I yelled at myself. "He can't be far". I slowly hobbled around the corner of the building and then I saw him swiftly walk down an alley. Mustering all the strength I could I quickly ran after him. He stood not far from me, maybe 10 yards.
"I give up, I'm not running anymore, just kill me now and get it over with". I slowly pulled out the 9 mil. and took the safety off. He spread his arms out and closed his eyes. I slowly raised the gun...
and put the safety on and pulled out the clip.
"What are you doing!? Just kill me!". He said as he fell on his knees.
I slowly put the gun on the ground. "I forgive you, I don't want to kill you. I forgive you". "You - you forgive me?... but I killed your wife, you have every right to kill me". "No. We were both Christians, but when you killed my wife I left the church, but after some time Jesus revived me, and showed me that forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts, it is truly amazing". He started crying. I quickly walked over to him and started to   comfort him. "No, I deserve to die by your hands". "We all deserve death, we're all sinners, but we have Jesus Christ's forgiveness. He payed the price for us. He died so men like you and I can live forever with our King, the King of kings". "I'm - sorry I killed your wife, I didn't know you guys would get back home so early. I shouldn't have been there, and right now you should be with your wife, and you should have children, but I stole it all from you, and I am sorry. Please, help me to find Him". "Yes, I will help you".

9. Death

Okay, so some of my writings are real events that happened to me or someone else I know, but this one is I guess mostly focused on me, and it's in 3rd person.

9. Death

Daniel slowly walked outside to do the morning pet chores. His family had a small little farm, consisting of chickens, goats, cats a couple dogs, and rabbits… lots of rabbits. So many rabbits in fact that Daniel gave up on trying to keep count. He and his brother usually on a good day could get the chores done and the milking in about half an hour. But as they walked off the patio they noticed their dog Blaireau, (Who was a great Pyrenees) was not moving, lay still in front his dog house. Fear rushed over Daniel as he dropped the egg bucket and ran to the fence yelling “Blaireau!”. As he reached the dog’s side he soon realized his fears were true…. Blaireau was dead…

100 Themes

I am making this blog so I can share some of my writings, and this is a list of names or "themes" that I am doing as well, hope you all like them :-) and the checks are ones that I've already done and will be posting soon

1. Introduction
2. Complicated
3. Making History
4. Rivalry
5. Unbreakable
6. Obsession
7. Eternity
8. Gateway
9. Death✔
10. Opportunities
11. 33%
12. Dead Wrong
13. Running Away
14. Judgment
15. Seeking Solace
16. Excuses
17. Vengeance✔
18. Love
19. Tears
20. My Inspiration
21. Never Again
22. Online
23. Failure
24. Rebirth
25. Breaking Away
26. Forever and a day
27. Lost and Found
28. Light
29. Dark
30. Faith
31. Colors
32. Exploration
33. Seeing Red
34. Shades of Grey
35. Forgotten
36. Dreamer
37. Mist
38. Burning
39. Out of Time
40. Knowing How
41. Fork in the road
42. Start
43. Nature’s Fury
44. At Peace
45. Heart Song
46. Reflection
47. Perfection
48. Everyday Magic
49. Umbrella
50. Party
51. Troubling Thoughts
52. Stirring of the Wind
53. Future
54. Health and Healing
55. Separation
56. Everything For You
57. Slow Down
58. Heartfelt Apology
59. Challenged
60. Exhaustion
61. Accuracy
62. Irregular Orbit
63. Cold Embrace
64. Frost
65. A Moment in Time✔
66. Dangerous Territory
67. Boundaries
68. Unsettling Revelations
69. Shattered
70. Bitter Silence
71. The True You
72. Pretense
73. Patience
74. Midnight
75. Shadows
76. Summer Haze
77. Memories
78. Change in the Weather
79. Illogical
80. Only Human
81. A Place to Belong
82. Advantage
83. Breakfast
84. Echoes
85. Falling
86. Picking up the Pieces
87. Gunshot
88. Possession
89. Twilight
90. Nowhere and Nothing
91. Answers
92. Innocence
93. Simplicity
94. Reality
95. Acceptance
96. Lesson
97. Enthusiasm
98. Game
99. Friendship
100. Endings